What Would John Do?

Over? Did you say “over”? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! – John Belushi in Animal House

I know that most people look to Ferguson (what would Jesus do?)for advice during a tough hand, but this week’sonline poker drama had me seeking guidance from Jesus’ disciple John: John Belushi that is. I acknowledge that it’s probably a bad sign whenyou’re navigatingAnimal House for wisdom. But as I watched it last night,I felt acomfortingsense of dysfunctional purpose. MayI share?

Otter: Flounder, you can’t spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You fucked up – you trusted us!

Like Flounder, we can’t dwell on the past. And on this front, Belushi offers sage advice.

Bluto: My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

This is always a good place to start and lays the perfect foundation for the necessary senseless activity that ultimately willsave us.

Otter: I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.

But who? Who is up to the task?

Dean Wormer: Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.

Well it wasn’t Al. But it could have been. I absolutely believe that my salvation from this hellish week rests squarely in playing poker on Hammer Day.

And if that doesn’t work, there is always porn.