My Comp Whorin’ Ways
When I die, my tombstone is going to read, “Here lies Amy. She Got Good Value.” I’m not ashamed of being frugal (or cheap as the fiscally uneducated might call it). In fact, I wear it like a badge of honor. I don’t pay retail. I don’t settle for lesser quality. And free stuff rocks my world. I’m a comp whore - at the casinos and in life.
For my upcoming trip to Vegas for the WSOP, I needed a few things. I needed a decent pair of pants. This has become one of my missions ever since Chris “The Armenian Express” Grigorian offered to buy me new pants if he won in Tunica. I figure when poker players realize you’re lacking on the fashion front, you’re close to being a lost cause. Unfortunately Chris did not win - and I still needed pants. I also do my underwear shopping twice a year (TMI?); once before my annual January trek to Tunica and once before the WSOP. I also needed a decent USB Flash drive for passing files to reporters in the field. Last week I stood on my personal aircraft carrier deck and proclaimed mission accomplished.
Pants: 1 brand new pair of khaki colored Ralph Lauren pants. Retail 59.99. Paid $9.49.
Jockey Underwear: 4 new pairs. Retail $24.00. Paid $8.38.
Flash Drive: 4 GB SanDisk. Retail $84.99. Paid $34.99.
Granted the underwear are fairly hideous colors involving orange and green - but during the WSOP, the only time anyone is going to see them is in the washer or dryer at Casa Debonair.
As “cheap” as I am, I was very slow on the uptake where realizing how many bargains there were in the casino environment. It wasn’t until I was sitting at a $10 pai gow table with wildbill and the PokerShrink that the mysteries of casino comp whoring were revealed. Wildbill needed to refill on a pack of smokes and asked the pit boss for them. “What? They’ll comp you cigarettes?” Wildbill looked at me incredulously saying, “My dear, they will comp almost every vice.”
Wildbill’s advice started me down the path of getting the most out of every casino visit. I never paid “retail” for a room - booking my room through the poker room at a reduced “poker room rate”; sometimes as much as $100 off the going room rate. If I booked at the poker room rate, I usually couldn’t score additional comps by playing poker. Enter video poker and low vig table games. I now possess almost every casino player card every manufactured. I get cash back, credits at the gift store, meal comps, free gifts and promotional room rates for very nominal play. On a recent trip to the Mirage, my brother discovered that the poker room would also comp meals every other day - even if you were already getting the poker room rate.
So I will be heading out to Vegas on May 28th to begin my seven week WSOP gig. I will be armed with my new pants, underwear, and flash drive - and every casino player card known to mankind.
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May 15th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Ahh yes, the night we made the dealer laugh so hard she cried. I think we drove the pit boss out of the business after the ‘pantsless pai-gow’ incident. I still remember your response to the ‘comp every vice’ line. "Do you think they could arrange to fill my bathtub with oatmeal?"
Bill
May 18th, 2007 at 2:50 am
No apologies need on those skivvies; that was a hell of a buy; especially when they threw in the putty nose.
May 19th, 2007 at 8:12 am
As poker players we are tought to listen to our opponents. There are often profitable pearls of wisdom in their words.
I’ve just installed coin mechanisms on the washer and dryer at Casa Debonair. HOWEVER, they are 5 cents less than the laundramat down the street.