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Full Tilt Poker has signed poker supercouple David Benyamine and Erica Schoenberg to play the WSOP under their banner. Check out this video from Poker News’ EPT Monte Carlo coverage where they both confirm the deal.

French native Benyamine is already an avid high-stakes player on Full Tilt, where he can be regularly found in the $200-400 and up NLH and PLO ring games as well as the $1K-$2K H.O.R.S.E. Schoenberg was formerly sponsored by Mansion Poker and made a name for herself in poker after finishing 16th in the 2006 WPT Championship.

For more news on the EPT Grand Final and photos of all the hot Swedish railbirds and the French masseuses that wear hot pants, stay tuned to Pauly, Shronk, and Tiffany Michelle’s coverage on PokerNews.

** Warning: This post contains bad beat stories. Then again, if you’re still reading me after all this time, you’re probably OK with that, since I never win at poker and I always aim to tell them in at least a semi-entertaining manner. **

I was standing in line at Subway yesterday, waiting for my sandwich to be ready when a thought flickered into my head.

“I’d like to play a MTT or two while I eat this sandwich back at my apartment. It’s almost 2:00 so something must be starting on one of those fine online sites where I have less than enough money left to cover one night’s hotel stay at the Red Rock Casino.”

Of course, something was starting– a $16.50 360-player NLHE MTT on Stars. I registered for that and one of my usual $20+2 NLHE SNGs on Full Tilt. The SNG started first. I got KK on the third hand and raised to 100 from UTG+1. The button moved all in and I called. If he has aces there, so be it but most of the time I’m doubling up. He had QQ. Q on the flop and I was -$22 in only about three and a half minutes. It was so ridiculous and happened so quickly I didn’t even have time to tilt.

The Stars MTT started next and I folded four hands before picking up 22 in the SB. Someone raised to 70 from EP and everyone and their momma called, including me. The flop was a sexy 2-8-J rainbow. I checked, some other people checked, the original raiser bet 300, some other people folded, the button called the 300 and I re-raised to 900. After a 30 second think, the original raiser folded and the guy next to him pushed.

I was already committed to this pot with my set and only had something like 530 more behind but took a few seconds to at least try and put this guy on a hand. It’s the fourth hand of the tournament so I don’t have a read on anyone. J-J, 8-8, or an overpair are certainly possible, but his position made me think he would have re-raised hands like those pre-flop to weed out some of the 58 callers of the initial 70 chip raise. And if it’s set over set, so be it. I’m in fantastic shape against something like J-8, and since the original raiser took so long to fold to my re-raise, he could have easily had top pair, good kicker– something like Q-J, K-J or A-J– so one of his few outs could be dead as well. The only other hand I could think he might have was something like 9-T suited, and I’m 3-1 over that as well. Bottom line… it was a trivially easy call and I made it.

He showed 9-T offsuit. K on the turn, Q on the river and I was out in 351st place of 360. My head spun. Two down in less than 5 minutes.

I’d already hopped into a second $22 SNG by then and was just wondering how I’d be knocked out of this one. Only took another 10 minutes for my A-K to fall to 9-9. Can’t win a hand, not as a 4-1 fave, not as a 3-1 fave, and certainly not as a 47-53 dog.

For the morbidly curious among you who enjoy following my frequent losing streaks, those were the 15th and 16th SNGs I’ve dropped in a row and I have like 89 bucks left on Full Tilt. I had over 500 on there less than a week ago. If Versace made tin foil hats, I’d invest in one.

The state of my game? It’s fucked. (more…)

Pauly and Otis are in Monte Carlo and man am I jealous! The Dr. has some nice shots up from his first day in town. My personal favorite is the one of Shaniac in those uber-ghey silver sneakers. Footwear like that could only fly in Europe. Of course a stay in one of the most expensive cities in the known universe has it’s caveats. Like $8 Diet Cokes and $30 cheeseburgers that don’t even come with fries.

Both of these guys are (drinking) hard at work to provide you with top-notch coverage of the EPT Grand Final. 700 players, 2 million Euros for first, and the return of Aussie Millions runner-up and poster child for virginity, Gobboboy.

Dr. Pauly, Shronk and Tiffany “HotChips” Michelle are all live on PokerNews.com. Check out the Roland deWolfe video where he talks about how he prop bet Andy Black on flop colors to win something sicko like 8 grand.

Otis is heading up the team over at the PokerStars Blog. They have a rare photo up of Barry Greenstein where he actually does NOT look like he’s dying. (more…)

I’ve been to Red Rock Canyon National Park maybe half a dozen times this year. Yet I never get sick of it. Beauty like that can never wear on me. The boys were all up early on Friday morning and Senor wanted to get out of the casino and “touch the rocks.”

“They have incredible energy. And they tell stories.”

We piled into my silver rental Sebring and took the 13-mile scenic drive around the park with several stops so Senor could achieve maximum contact with the rocks. He and Pauly took a half-mile walk down a trail while Derek and I stayed in the car and smoked tough. My silver leather ballet flats weren’t exactly made for hiking.

Back at the casino, we headed into the sportsbook so the guys could place their bets for the day. After my good fortune with UCLA the night before, I decided to cash that ticket and let it ride on two more picks. I took Butler +10 vs. Florida and USC +8.5 vs North Carolina. Pauly was betting all dogs for the day and these were the two I felt the best about. By this point, after watching a serious amount of college basketball over the last week or so, I didn’t feel like a total idiot and thought that these games would be much closer than the oddsmakers did. So I laid a modest $55 to win $50 on each. (more…)

After breakfast, Pauly and Derek made one last check on the lines before placing their bets on the night’s four Sweet 16 games. I don’t like knowing how much Pauly is laying on each game because the size of his bets make me nervous. But he lives for these moments, the thrill of the two-hour-long sweats with constantly changing leads, missed free throws and perfectly sunken treys to turn everything around at the last minute. While they staked out a prime viewing spot in the sportsbook three hours in advance of tip-off, I listed myself for the $4-8 with half kill.

I was seven deep on the list, so I got to hang out for a while with the McGrupp brothers and Miami Don, who practically lives in the Red Rock sports book. He knows the waitresses all by name as well as their approximate shift schedules. And the waitresses love Miami Don, bringing him round after round of free shots of Petron. He had all sorts of bets going that afternoon– NCAA, NBA, first half totals, and some ridiculous hockey parlay that he made with Pauly and Derek. (more…)

I’m blogging from the Red Rock Casino in Las Vegas, where I’ve joined Pauly, Derek and Senor on their annual March Madness trip. Thousands of degenerate gamblers will descend upon Sin City this weekend to place their bets on the Sweet 16 and Elite 8 games jacking up hotel rates everywhere. Wanna stay at Excalibur this weekend? It’ll cost you $274/ a night. Thankfully we booked early, and are 12 miles away from the crowds on the Strip. Red Rock is gorgeous and our room is seriously swank. The bed was more comfortable than my own at home, the view spectacular, and we have a 30-something inch plasma TV on which to enjoy the March Madness games during the little time we’ll spend outside the casino. Everything is white walls and dark wood and the bathroom a marble palace. (more…)

It’s been quite a weekend for women in poker. J.J. Liu came thisclose to winning her second WPT title at the Bay 101 Shooting Stars event, where she finished second to Ted Forrest in the longest final table ever played on the World Poker Tour (263 hands, the average being in the low 100s). (more…)

Listen up, L.A. poker players. Live WSOP satellites are on their way to Hollywood Park next month– and that makes this poker degenerate all twisty and giddy. These $45+5 shootout satellites will award a $1,500 WSOP preliminary event buy-in plus $500 in cash to the winner. The twist? They will be run in their ePoker room on HPC’s bevy of electronic PokerPro tables.

(more…)

Some interesting rumors are circulating through the intertubes this morning. The London newspaper The Financial Times is reporting that Rep. Barney Frank (D) who chairs the House Financial Services committee, is planning on introducing a bill to repeal the UIGEA. In the FT article, he calls the online gaming ban “one of the stupidest laws ever passed.”

(more…)

Shannon Elizabeth defeats Rene Angelil. OK, I’ll buy that.

Shannon Elzabeth defeats Jeff Madsen. All right… I’ll give you two, lucksack.

Shannon Elizabeth defeats Barry Greenstein. The first sign that all is not right with the world. Be forewarned of the impending apocalypse. And didn’t she used to bang his son? (more…)