Michael Craig's Journal

[Last update: 9-11, 5:05 PM MST] 

When Perry Friedman and I sat next to each other during a hold ‘em event at the Series, we talked about all the different names for two-card starting hands.

(This picture came from Pauly’s blog, Tao of Poker, and it was taken while I was fumbling chips that would soon belong to Perry.)

I will ask Perry permission to use the name (commemorating our discussion and his final-table appearance on ESPN with a face drawn on one of his hands, which he would dangle in front of the hole-card camera and consult) but I want your input. Either make comments below or e-mail me at mrchaotic@aol.com.

Tell me your nicknames for two-card starting hands. Feel free to specify suited or unsuited, or particular suits. (For example, Perry told me his favorite was K-9, which everyone knows is the dog hand, but he calls Ks-9s the Spayed Dog.) I will keep a running list below: [list to follow within a day or so]

A-A: Pocket Rockets, American Airlines. Twin Peaks. Sharp Tops. Bullets. Clean & Sober.

K-K: Cowboys, Monarchs.

Q-Q: Sigfried & Roy, the Gabor Sisters, the Hilton Sisters, Ladies, Four Titties.

J-J: Hooks.

T-T:

9-9: Gretzky

8-8: Snowmen, Dog Balls.

7-7: Hockey Sticks.

6-6: The Devil.

5-5: Presto, also called Speed Limit, Double Nickles, Sammy Hagar. But really just Presto.

4-4: Cross-tops. 4s-4=Darth Vadar.

3-3: Crabs.

2-2: Ducks.

A-K: Big Slick, Anna Kournikova (looks good but never wins).

A-Q: Big Chick.

A-J: Ajax.

A-T:

A-9: Jesus.

A-8: Abominable Snowman.

A-7:

A-6:

A-5:

A-4: Big Whore.

A-3:

A-2: Little Slick.

K-Q: Royal Marriage.

K-J: Jacking Off (K-Jo); Kojack.

K-T: Katie.

K-9: The Dog Hand. Spayed Dog (Ks-9s). Mutt (K-9o).

K-8: Kate.

K-7:

K-6:

K-5:

K-4:

K-3: King Crab.

K-2:

Q-J:

Q-T: Cutie.

Q-9:

Q-8:

Q-7:

Q-6:

Q-5:

Q-4:

Q-3: the Gay Waiter.

Q-2:

J-T:

J-9:

J-8:

J-7:

J-6:

J-5:

J-4: Spare Tire (”What’s a jack for?”); Jack Hammer (though shouldn’t J-2 be called that?).

J-3:

J-2:

T-9:

T-8:

T-7:

T-6:

T-5: Woolworth, or Five-and-Dime.

T-4: Broderick Crawford.

T-3:

T-2: Doyle Brunson.

9-8: Oldsmobile.

9-7:

9-6: Dinner for Two. Love Boat.

9-5: Dolly Parton.

9-4: Gold Rush (4-9).

9-3: Jack Benny.

9-2: Todd Brunson, Montana Banana.

8-7:

8-6:

8-5:

8-4:

8-3:

8-2: Canadian Hammer.

7-6:

7-5:

7-4:

7-3:

7-2: The Hammer, especialliy if offsuit. I propose calling 7-2s “Andy Bloch”, because it’s the hand he SHOULD HAVE won the 2006 $50,000 HORSE with.

6-5:

6-4:

6-3: Barbara Enright (this was the ridiculous hand on which she took the bad beat of the century at the final table of the WSOP).

6-2: Mexican Hammer.

5-4:

5-3:

5-2:

4-3:

4-2:

3-2: Nits & Lice.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 25th, 2006 at 10:46 pm and is filed under My favourites:.