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The problem with razz …

The problem with razz is that I have to write the razz chapter from an interview with Ted Forrest and Huck Seed and it’s 2 AM. I’ve been transcribing the 4 audio files since 10 AM and I just finished. And I never got to Vegas to interview Mike Matusow for the Omaha Hi-Lo chapter, though it wasn’t for lack of trying.

I’m under too much pressure to get the FULL TILT book done to be able to give you a complete and full account of everything that’s happening, so I have to give you the short version:

The short version

1. I did not go to LV to interview Mike Matusow for the Omaha Hi-Lo chapter.

2. I’ve been reviewing the 4 audio files that made up the interviews with Huck Seed and Ted Forrest on Razz, so I can write that chapter.

3. I’m freaking out that there’s no way I can meet the deadline to finish the book on September 1.

4. I desperately need and assistant and Amy Calistri, my chief Call Girl, turned me down with the lame ass excuse that she has to finish her dissertation or they’ll kick her out of the Ph.D. program.

I just watched Mike Matusow playing Gus Hansen, Phil Ivey, and some other unnamed pros on Full Tilt for an hour. It was an exhausting experience though I understand Mike has won a lot of money there recently.

Here are some of the e-mails that tell my story of the day:

1.  I just invoiced BLUFF for “Shannon Elizabeth Has a Cold”. See the companion piece right here, right now. They hadn’t paid the previous invoice (September issue, called “Drawing Dead,” about life & death at the poker table). Eddie, one of the publishers, told me it was send out today. His response was so fast I almost felt bad using the phrase “PAST DUE” on the invoice seven times. My response:

Thank you, Eddy. I try not to be a nudge. Of course, I want to be a Hoover about the money but I also know (a) you pay me very well (not as much as I deserve [my ego] but far more than I’d get from anyone else [my real understanding of the world]; (b) any delays have nothing to do with ability to pay [I assume you'd tell me if they did]; (c) the delays are not a reflection of whether I’m doing a good job [again, I assume you'd tell me if I wasn't]; and (d) you guys have been tremendously busy, all of it a couple thousand miles away from your offices and routines.
So when I say “wheresmymoneywheresmymoneywheresmymoneywheresmymoney!”, I’m just playing the part I’m supposed to pay as the Starving Artist.
Michael
2. My friend JR invited me to a poker game. I’ve had to turn him down each time and this was no exception. My response: 

I really wish I could, JR. I’m so stressed about completing my book in 10 days that I could really use the break. But I’m so stressed about completing my book in 10 days that I can’t afford to take a break.

M

3. I keep trying to seduce Amy Calistri into working on helping me finish the book. This was the first attempt:

 

Amy:
I’m putting together the Razz chapter now. There are 4 audio files - 3 relatively short ones with Ted and a longer one after Huck showed up. This started at 11 p.m., after Ted got back from a Pizza Hut/Thai dinner. I’m on the 3rd file and I’m reminded from the background noises that this is the 3rd item he’s eaten in the hour since I arrived.
M

4. Here was the second attempt:

Huck arrives.

Ted: I guess there’s $5,000 up for grabs in this Razz chapter. I’ve already done $3,500 worth.
Huck: I’ll just take this piece of pizza as payment. That’s all I need.

M 

5. I sent another S.O.S. e-mail to my editor, Colin. I received an auto-reply that he was out of the office, though it was dated last Friday.

 

Colin:
Just to give you a little idea of what I’m up against, I canceled my trip to Vegas yesterday after driving 70 miles of the way. I was going to interview Mike Matusow again for the Omaha 8 chapter - Mike gave me a partial interview during which he fell asleep twice, though what he said when he was awake was brilliant - and he made very general plans to get together Sunday. (He’s leaving town for a week to vacation in Florida.)
When I got to Wickenburg, I stopped for gas and to tell him what time I’d be arriving. He was asleep but told me he was going to a party. “We could do it but I’ll probably be drunk.”
I turned around and drove home. Two hours later, he called me back and said, “Did we talk on the phone before? I was sound asleep and don’t remember anything about it, but I think we did.”
Mike
P.S. - It’s going to be close at the wire, which is my tactful way of saying there’s no way the book will be completely done in ten days. I am far, far along, but here are the problems: (1) the Omaha 8 chapter (though I think I’ll do the last Matusow interview by phone or right before deadline); (2) the Stud chapter, where I have options - David Grey, who is high maintenance and busy, and Ted Forrest, who is incredibly generous and has already done two chapters; (3) a number of gaping holes in the No Limit Hold ‘Em chapter, which I think I can get (mostly but not entirely) Chris Ferguson and Andy Bloch (who is moving to North Carolina any day) to fill; and (4) A million niggling little things that are half-done but could soon be completed - Razz (short chapter, half done), Limit Hold ‘Em (brilliant Lederer chapter, revising based on the previous interview [which I have to retranscribe because of my computer breakdown], Pot Limit Hold ‘Em (short chapter, half done), then teensy things like the Glossary, Recommended Reading, Background of Tilt and the Pros, etc.
P.P.S. - Should we talk the situation through or should I just keep at it? I don’t have much to add to this but want to keep you informed.
The trouble with Razz:

 

The Razz chapter in the Full Tilt Poker tournament book is going to be something special. I just have to figure out a way to get all the off-topic dialogue between Ted Forrest and Huck Seed into the manuscript.

1. Ted: “The problem with Razz is that too many of the old razz players died off.”

2. Ted and Huck had a lengthy discussion of the first hand Huck ever played against Ted. It was 15 years ago but you’d have thought it was 15 minutes ago from the way they described it.

3. Huck talked about one of Ted’s Razz tricks, putting in the third raise as a bluff.

Huck: You ever do the 3d-person-in-the-pot bluff, where you come in with a junkie hand?

Ted: After it’s raised and called?

Huck: Yeah.

Ted: How junky?

Huck: Like a 9-8 in the hole and a baby up.

Ted: I don’t really like the Oldsmobile hand.

Huck: I saw you do it once with 9-8 or maybe T-9. You 3-raised it.

Ted: I don’t like that in my repertoire unless a queen and a jack raised it.

Huck: That’s the ultimate tricky play. You’d never put someone on a bluff on a 3-raise.

Ted: I think the only trick you accomplish with that play is making your chips disappear …. To be honest, I don’t remember it happening exactly that way.

Huck: Don’t worry, it happened. Table 3, Mirage, $500-$1,000 Razz.

Ted: Who were my opponents?

Huck: I forgot. I know Mark Spirit was in the game but I don’t think he was in the pot.

4. There was lots of discussion about old Razz games and old Razz players. They talked about the daily $300-$600 Razz game at the Horseshoe back in ‘91. (By the way, both Ted (who is barely 40) and Huck (who is in his 30s) both used the expression “back in the day” over the course of the evening.) There was a discussion of the players in the game and Ray Barton or Don Barton came up. They took turns asking and explaining what happened to Drayon Barton. He’s either playing no-limit tournaments or, because he was 85 years old back then, is long dead. I think they concluded it was 2 different guys.

There was discussion of Slade West. For a reason I still can’t fathom, I said, “Is he the guy with the eye patch?”

Ted said, “No, he’s the guy who got shot in the throat.”

As far as I know, I’ve never heard about anyone in poker with an eye patch.

The subject of calling when you’re behind came up and, though we were talking about tournaments, they talked about how to get a guy on tilt to stay on tilt. Or if he’s close to tilt, pushing him gently over the edge. It involved letting him win small pots.

At one point in this discussion, Huck pointed to my audio recorder. “Is the tape still on?” Ted’s girlfriend Roxanna said, “Don’t worry. These tapes are just for Michael’s personal entertainment.”

She got that right. I’ll try to include a bit more of this after I get the chapter written. There was some great discussion. It was like asking Woodward and Bernstein to teach me about reporting, but only telling previously untold stories about Watergate.

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