Michael Craig's Journal

And, for that matter, Rich Little, Erik Seidel, Andy Bloch, Jason Gold, Shannon Elizabeth, and Dan Cheadle?

And Gavin Smith, Howard Lederer, Huckleberry Seed?

… and Erick Lindgren?

I have fallen hopelessly, hopelessly behind.

My book, which I’ll remind you for the 103rd time, is THE FULL TILT POKER STRATEGY GUIDE - TOURNAMENT EDITION, to be published by Warner Books on Day 1 of the 2007 World Series of Poker. According to my book’s Amazon.com page, it will be 528 pages long. I find that a curious statement, because, among other things, I am only half-finished with my interview with Chris Ferguson on No-Limit Hold ‘Em post-flop play and NONE of that giant section is written. I have just - without his knowledge, unless he reads this blog, fired Erick Lindgren from the NLHE Big-Stack Play section and replaced him with Gavin Smith, who I am meeting tomorrow for the interview.

But I’m not complaining that I’m hopelessly behind on the book, though I may be. It will be a fight to the finish and, though I’m behind on points going into the 12th round and dizzy, I intend to go the distance.

I feel bad that I’m hopelessly behind with YOU.

So much interesting, funny, bizarre stuff is happening that I feel terrible that I’m not keeping up. It is 12:35 AM and I intend to write as fast as I can - no organization, no editing, no proofreading, no review for style or accuracy (maybe I could use that as a formula for starting a poker magazine!) - to see if I can catch up, at least a little. Then I have to stop at 1 AM.

Just because.

1. On Tuesday, I had lunch with Penn Jillette and dinner with Jimmy Carter. The coolest thing about that isn’t the magnitude of the stars. The coolest thing is that I met both traveling in the wake of Andy Bloch’s daily life.

2. I also had (another) lunch with Clonie Gowen and (another) dinner with Ted Forrest. Instead of getting paid by the page, I should be paid by the pound.

3. Erick Lindgren is an extremely unreliable person as far as I’m concerned, but I don’t hold it against him. He begged off our Tuesday meeting for the book, instead telling me we’d meet for lunch on Wednesday. (I suppose I could have waited without getting hungry from all those extra meals on Tuesday.) I e-mailed him Monday and Tuesday night for the time and place, because he wouldn’t give it to me initially. I got an e-mail from him Tuesday midnight asking for my cell number so we could pick some time and place in the afternoon. I still hadn’t heard from him when I left my room at 1 PM Wednesday.

When I got back to my room at 11:30 PM, I saw an e-mail from 5:30 PM. “finally got home …. can we do this by phone?”

Is that like “Don’t pay the ransom! I’ve escaped!”

Erick entertains me. I’m a million miles from not liking him. But damned if I’m going to rely on him to do as much as test the ring tone on my phone. Alas, I’ll never find out what bizarre vehicle he has next to his house (Ted Forrest has a stretch limo with naked women painted on it), what he has a ridiculous amount of in his refrigerator (Mike Matusow had a bucket of hard boiled eggs that looked like they came with the house), what kind of computer he uses (Chris Ferguson brought this TOWER to the World Series with a monitor larger than the TV our family watches at home), or what he looks like right after waking up (Clonie Gowen looks fabulous - truly fabulous).

I’ll have to content myself with a faux friendship, and maybe stealing something from him some day.

Uh oh, it’s 7 minutes to 1 AM. I better pick up the pace.

4. I must remember sometime to tell you the story about my one day as the toast of Hollywood. I had two meetings with producers about selling some of my intellectual property to make a movie. Amy Calistri was with me, so she’s witness to this. I was in extended discussions about who would play me in the movie. Jason Alexander was probably the “hunkiest” suggestion. We got lost on the Sony Culver City lot and ran into the Ghostbustersbmobile, Ecto-1.

The coolest part of the story is that at least one of the meetings was arranged thanks to a gigantic lie I told. I consider truth phenomenally important in the writing and reporting process. In the sale process though, I’ll lie like Fox News.

5. I met Jason Alexander today and thought he was a remarkably cool guy. I had heard he was a cool guy but I was completely unprepared for him to seem like the real-life George Castanza. I’d take ten minutes talking with him over 10 minutes talking with Penn Jillette, and maybe over 10 minutes talking with Jimmy Carter.

6. Phil Gordon and Howard Lederer have a bet - I don’t know with whom or for how much - that at least one of the shows in this TV poker tournament Full Tilt is putting together will go under 64 hands. Going into the last preliminary round, the “over” won each time. Phil was moaning about how yesterday they forgot to raise the blinds and played one of the early levels for 50 minutes instead of 25.

Phil then related one of the coolest stories I ever heard. I’m sure I can’t do it justice writing it and may not be able to tell it properly in person. Gordon said that one of the episodes of Celebrity Poker Showdown went only 17 hands! Heather Graham was one of the celebs. Fred Willard, a truly bizarre deadpan wit, was another. After the second hand, Willard said to Graham, “I really liked you in Boogie Nights.” (I have to check with Phil whether he added, “that movie where you were naked all the time” or in Phil’s telling that line was just implied.)

Phil GOrdon then described a scene of chaos and loathing that I can’t duplicate. “Heather Graham went on mega-tilt …. She stormed off the set afterwards …. No one wanted to talk to her or Willard …. No one wanted to even LOOK at either of them …. Everyone was super uncomfortable …. She was furious.”

7. I’m thinking about writing a book about two sisters, 24 and 20 years old, who went so crazy spending money on clothing, cars, and travel that they plotted to rob the bank at which the older one worked, with the younger one disguising herself as a male robber at a time when the older sister was one of the only employees in the bank.

Their MySpace.com pages are a hoot.

8. Penn Jillette told me that there is a scream in a 1951 movie that has become an obsession among Foley Artists, the guys who edit sound effects into movies. It was used in several movies that year and the tight-knit, insane Foley community decided (and several generations since have decided) to use that same scream in every movie possible. It’s been in all the STAR WARS movies, the INDIANA JONES movies, hundreds, maybe thousands, of movies. The F.A.s try to top each other getting it into movies where you wouldn’t imagine it, the same scream.

I want to write about that.

9. Today, during the afternoon taping of the Full Tilt tournament, as I was leaving, I saw three technicians sitting at a tiny table on the set, behind a curtain, wordlessly playing Chinese Poker.

10. There is a new form of Chinese Poker being played in the Green Room, that includes a low hand and Badugi. I thought, These guys are really hard-core, but then someone showed them they had been playing without the Queen of Clubs.

I’m outta time. I’ll try to catch up more soon. Good night.

P.S. - The October BLUFF is out with Gus Hansen on the cover and “Shannon Elizabeth has a Cold” on page 82. Check out my Journal companion piece. Oh, and remind me sometime soon to tell you my Mysterious Gus Hansen story. (That’s the title on the cover.) E-mail me at mrchaotic@aol.com to remind me if you don’t see it soon. It’s short and funny. Or e-mail me for any other reason except to borrow money.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 28th, 2006 at 3:13 am and is filed under My favourites:.