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Panic House

I have lots of material to catch up on, so at least I’ll tell you why I’m NOT going to catch up today.

First, I have a BLUFF column due tomorrow. (I’m NOT working on that.)

Second, I have to drive home from Vegas. (I don’t know when I’m driving home, but I have to be home by 9 AM or I miss the payment for the 1/3 of my advance on the Full Tilt book.)

Third, I’m playing the big Full Tilt tournaments today.

Fourth, and most relevant, I’m playing at Mike Matusow’s house. We’re supposed to be working on turning his life into a screenplay, but I don’t see much likelihood of that happening today. Mike is in a bilious mood, losing online, miserable.

Here is what I’m up against: I’m trying to win my way into the $500 buy-in Assie Millions satellite. I paid $75 to get into the Super and I’m 2d in chips going into the final table. The top 4 win seats. Fifth gets some cash.

I lose all my chips in two hands. The first time, I have top pair and someone makes a flush. The second time, I make top pair, then top-two, and run into a set.

I’m about to complain when Mike gets off his bed and punches the wall. “I had 8-8, guy calls a raise and then re-raises me after a flop of 2-5-7. I know he’s got nothing. He hits a jack on the turn and I lose $5,000.

I’ve invited Amy Calistri and Dr. Tim Lavalli to join us. For both our sanity.

2 Responses to “Panic House”

  1. PostModernBoy Says:

    I’m thinking that the screenplay should be My Table with Mike, with two hours of Matusow conversing with his opponents.

  2. Joel Says:

    Assie Millions, nice…

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