grubette’s first time (by grubette)

I can’t even begin to write about Vegas over Easter weekend since it was a blur of late nights, loads of beer and surprisingly two shows and only one buffet. I didn’t go to sleep before 5am each morning and awoke before 11am each morning. I did get more sleep than grubby though.

I hugely enjoyed the company of Dawn Summers, Karol, and their east coast posse. mamagrub also made a rare weekend appearance, favoring the pits of downtown rather than the bustling strip. She can be convinced with a free room, Ghiradelli sundaes and the fact that both her grub kids are in town.I also enjoyed hanging out at a few bars with Mike and Cathleen, where Mike insisted on purchasing beverages. He could not be talked out of it. Mike saw Johnny Chan and when I went to take a closer look, “Where? Where?” Mike said he passed right by me. Guess he looks like every other Asian guy.

Doug ogled the women at the “European Bathing” area of the Wynn’s pool. I told the registration guy at the Wynn that I needed a handicapped room for my wheelchair-bound mother in law, but it succeeded only in getting me a very high toilet (I should be reprimanded for lying on Easter, of all days).

As far as gambling, I succeeded making a personal goal of “beer bottle height” for my chips at blackjack (actually nearly double beer bottle height – I was four chips shy).

I won and lost and lost and lost and then finally recovered in 20 minutes playing craps, coming out even to the dollar of what I brought with me four days earlier. I considered that a win.

The next day, I flew to San Francisco to give a presentation and was a slightly bit red-eyed but made it through that as well as watching three additional presentations with the help of extraordinarily strong Bristol Farms coffee, free WiFI and IM’s from f-train.

The next day, I returned home to finally end a month long stretch of traveling and no poker, only to return to have a dentist appointment. My hygienist said I had no tartar! Reason to celebrate! I headed to Hi-G since my dentist is conveniently located around the corner and played 8/16 and 15/30 and lost at both. I had told Doug I would leave by 8pm (when the BIG bonus, $150k, is over) but I was still losing by five minutes to 8 so I called him and told him 30 minutes more. As I returned from my phone call, the table broke!

Next table, second hand, 14 minutes after 8pm, I got JJ in middle position and raised pre-flop.
Two callers.
Flop A-A-5.
I bet out, one dropper, one caller.
Turn A.
I shhhushhed the table and checked.
Check’s good.
River 6.
I shhhhushhhed the table and checked.
Check’s good.
I turned over my JJ’s. With a board of A-A-5-A-6, the other guy had A-7. SEVEN! The SEVEN kicked the board! I LOST the hand!

Cheers erupted from the table and seriously I did not know why. I usually do the back slapping, but this time it was my turn to get my back slapped. The human calculator sitting next to me said:

“$520 table share
$3200 for the winner (plus the $60 pot)
$9600 to the loser.”

That’s me, that’s me! I’m the loser! A-7 guy extended his hand to shake my hand, but I grabbed him in an exuberant hug and said I was buying the shots. He said he didn’t drink and did not seem very excited. Maybe he was stuck more than I was. I slapped my hand over my JJ until the pit boss came over to verify the hand, take IDs, change decks, etc. It was my first time. My first bonus. My first time at a table that hit a bonus. And by now, my 30 minute extended play had expired.

I called Doug and told him why I’d be late, “I FINALLY was on a table that hit the jackpot. Some lady had JJ against A-7 and the board was blah blah….table share was $520!”

Doug said, “So you won $520 cool!”

It took about an hour to process paperwork and tax forms and check cameras. I asked to take a picture. The pit boss said, “Why do you carry a camera?” Why do I carry a camera?! You never know when a fateful trip to the dentist nets you more than clean teeth.

I took it all in cash and tipped $600 to the dealer, who was smiling and waiting for me outside the cash room. Can you imagine stuffing the BIG bonus ($90K to the loser) in your wallet? I had a true gangsta roll with less than $10k. Even though they offered me an escort to my car, I chose my 78-year-old friend Joe, who graciously walked me out and then said, “Why the hell did you park way out here? Why can’t you spend $3 on valet?” (When I told f-train this comment, he said, “Guess Joe doesn’t know you very well.”) Eh, so I’m cheap. Out of all the people I polled, not one person said they would’ve tipped as much as I did.

I nervously drove home, shoving $3000 down my pocketless pants at a stop light. I got home and told Doug I had lucky changi for him down my pants. He reached in excitedly (as always!) and pulled out 30 grungy $100 bills, stunned. I told him, “Oh yeah that lady at the table with JJ? That was me!”