Grubby at PokerWorks

If I’m not playing slots, the next best thing for me is watching people play. Anytime I see people winning I’m happy. I always hope for them to win and win big.

I was playing slots at Harrah’s while whittling away my third trip to the ATM (made more depressing considering the Sahara tourney win money was gone) and a guy sat next to me and began giving unsolicited lessons in how to play.

He was from Connecticut (“home of the biggest casino in the world,” he said proudly) and he never pays for a flight or hotel stay in Las Vegas because he wins so much.

The last time he was at Harrah’s, he hit for over 200 free spins in a limousine game (which I’m guessing is Status Symbols). He was down to his last $8 and after the bonus was finished, he cashed out at $6500.

Then he became serious, took off his glasses, and rubbed his hand through his remaining hair. “Take a look at this face,” he said. I did and spotted some unruly nosehairs.

At Caesars Palace, he said, his wife had hit for $15,000 and gave him $5000 to play with. Being a $5 player with a sudden windfall, he decided to take a shot at the $100 slots in the high-limit area. He was on his 18th $100 bill when he hit 10 times 10 times 10 times for $187,000. He said it took five hours to pay him after verifying everything.

If you ever wonder why it takes so long to get paid a progressive jackpot by the slot manufacturer, it’s not just because they have to verify the win, but they have to deliver it in person. And they can’t exactly show up representing the company in casual clothing and 5 o’clock shadow.

With the winnings, he and his wife took a month off and toured Paris. The city, not the casino.

His picture is now hanging up somewhere at Caesars, and apparently I can just look for a photograph of a short, balding guy without glasses and know that yep, I was talking with greatness.

“That’s a great story,” I said, sincerely believing him and trying to get back to my game.

“It’s not a story, it’s true,” he said.

This was his resume to me and preamble that he knew what he spoke of and if I listened to him, I would win as well.

I played in peace for a few spins.

“I can tell you’re not a slot player,” he said.

Little did he know.

“Well, I’m just waiting for the bonus,” I said.

Just then, the bonus hit and offered me a selection of objects to choose from. He said to only pick the top or the bottom.

I humored him and picked the top.

That selection ended the bonus.

“Sometimes it’s set that way because the last person who hit the bonus hit big, but trust me, always pick the top or the bottom on this game.”

In truth, it’s all random, but it’s more interesting letting slot players believe what they believe. I never interfere with any superstition or fallacy because it’s more fun to keep believing.

Another bit of wisdom he imparted is to never play a spin-until-you-win game and never play a slot machine containing celebrities, because he said they get royalties off the profits and the machine thus pays out worse to the player.

Though didn’t agree with much of what he said, it was fun hearing his take.

One thing we did agree on: we both hate picking games.

Picking games are the ones such as Super Jackpot Party, where you select gifts that award credits or other secondary bonuses until you hit a pooper that gives you one more shot at saving yourself before ending the bonus.

I asked what his favorite slot machines were, as I tend to ask of anyone (strippers included, but they’re smarter than I am and never play). He liked Lucky Lemmings. He hated Wheel of Fortune Super Spin (which is now set at a nickel instead of a penny). He liked the new Money Bags, a game that I later played and found it similar to Mr. Cashman with mystery bonuses.

He then suddenly said he was tired and he was going to the room.

And with that, he left me having to interpret his slot wisdom and play the game correctly.

After realizing he hadn’t played a single pull and was occupying a seat while blabbing away to me, I reverted to my old strategy.

Sometimes people will sit next to you just wanting to talk to someone, and if you happen to hit big based on their advice, they think you’d be likely to share with them.

For some reason, I seem to draw the old men instead of the attractive hookers.

Another guy sat down in his place and was all business. After about 10 pulls he cashed out.

For $2500.

Anything over $1199 requires a handpay, and two attendants zoomed in on him in no time.

They were so fast, he barely had time to remove his player’s card. But he did, right before he cashed out.

He didn’t give his name, he didn’t show his I.D., he didn’t sign a W-2G.

On the machine he was playing, the maximum award he could have gotten was 5000 times 5 credits per line, or 25,000. He was playing 3 credits per line and cashed out for 50,000 nickels.

Something was suspicious.

One attendant paid him out in $100 bills while the other attendant reviewed his play in the game history. I was next to the machine and watched each of the screens scroll through, and none included a big win.

Which meant he had either inserted a ticket for close to $2500 or he inserted 25 $100 bills, played some, then cashed out.

This could be money laundering, and talking to the attendant later, he had done this at another machine. The supervisor said to pay him off, but he was under surveillance.

By then, it was 4 a.m., and as interested as I was in finding out the real story, I headed upstairs to bed and dreamt that my picture was up at Caesars Palace.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 17th, 2007 at 12:37 am and is filed under Uncategorized.