Grubby at PokerWorks

I’ve been entrenched in reading the streaming PokerNews updates of the WSOP, even dreaming that they ended the day early because of excessive farting.

I’d had seared tuna for lunch (Sola Restaurant) and Chinese (New Jeanny’s) for dinner, and my farting woke me up in the middle of the night.

Every time I visit Las Vegas — even while living there — I feel like a tourist. Only when getting into the rental car and heading to Henderson and Green Valley Ranch (which I did daily) did I feel like a normal loser. I feel at home at a casino, but more at home at a locals casino.

Ten days in Vegas is way too long, especially for a -EV gambler like me with credit cards and too-large cash advance limits (I should not know, for example, that a casino cash advance above $5000 is a straight 3.5 percent fee). That’s like three back-to-back trips, separated into a solo trip, a family trip, and a trip with the bloggers, friends, and Full Tilt crew.

And if I’d just stayed with poker (including tournaments), I’d have been even. But slots, table games, and strip clubs all came a-callin’ and I was helpless to just say no.

Fortunately, I have no more Vegas trips on the horizon, and I have no more personal days to tempt me.

The first night I stayed at Westin, home to many businessmen having smallish conferences. People in the hotel were with National Grants, they all seemed good looking, and they filled the small $5 blackjack casino at night.

It’s too bad plans for the W Hotel were cancelled.  It would’ve been interesting to see a larger-scale Westin.

A new magic show was in their theater called Dixie Dooley Master Mystifier. I knew enough not to catch this one — the first time I visited Westin, I saw Forbidden Vegas, a spoof musical in the Forbidden Broadway style. A friend and I went after a poker all-nighter, and we both fell asleep during the show.

The Heavenly Beds are indeed heavenly, and one day when I grow up I’m going to buy one of these things.

Bathrooms come with a scale (how I measure the resort-ish accommodations), a coffee maker (almost unheard of in Vegas, because they want you out of the room as much as possible), and free bottled water, which normally runs $4 a bottle.  And what’s that in the mirror…?

More pieces of heaven in dual-shower heads.  I take long showers to begin with, and if I had my way, the Heavenly Bed would be situated directly beneath these shower heads.

The hotel also provides mouthwash, cotton balls, Q-tips, and a sewing kit.  The bamboo is a nice added touch.

Westin has a pool that closes at 2 a.m. (and opens at 5 a.m.) and a 24-hour workout room with personal TVs attached to treadmills. There are also bottles of water and apples available for free.

But the main reason to visit this workout room that’s located on the second floor — it’s a little-known secret that the gym is the workout area for many a gentlemen’s club dancer, primarily because there’s no key access card required to get in.  It’s another little-known secret that strippers also hang out at the Tropicana pool.

Every visit I try to take in a cheap dinner at dive casinos Terrible’s or Ellis Island.  This time, it was Terrible’s with a half-chicken rotisserie dinner including baked potato, corn on the cob, and vegetables for only $5.99.

This helped offset the overpriced $17 continental breakfast buffet at Westin, one of the worst values in town.

Next: pictures of Silverton.  Oh, I know you can’t wait.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 13th, 2007 at 3:44 am and is filed under Uncategorized.