David Sklansky versus Dutch Boyd

“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance – it is the illusion of knowledge.”
Daniel Boorstin

I’m still relishing the past Vegas trip. Damnit, do I really have to wait seven months to see ya’ll again? Don’t seem right.

At the MGM bar on Friday evening, I met an Irish fellow who happened to be in town at the same time of our gathering. He reads my humble poker blog, among others, and we had a fine time chatting and drinking some beers. Long story short, he hung out with us and even played in our blogger tourney, making the final table. He sent a few of us an email, which he graciously is allowing me to post:

–

Hi,

I met and in most cases partied with you guys over the WBPT weekend in Vegas recently – I’m just home today and am seriously feeling the effects of my week-plus in Sin City.

I wanted to say thank you to all of you for making a stranger welcome, and for allowing me to participate in your tournament and, more importantly, your conversations & fun over the weekend. I’ve read some of your blogs for a while, and will be reading more from now on. I also (drunkenly) promised Iggy I’d write up my perspective, and will deliver on this over the next day or two.

My “someone in Austin fucking hates me” t-shirt and my San Jose Sharks doll will remind me of a superb weekend in Vegas.

As I said to most of you, if & when you make to my fair city, please be sure to get in touch with me so I can extend the same hospitality to you that you extended to me.

Regards,
(Irish) Jim

–

I’m looking forward to the writeup, Sir, and was great to meet you.

I don’t care what anyone says. Bloggers rule.

Geepers, I still can’t get over that pimp in the full-length fur coat operating with impunity out of the Geisha bar at the IP. And sure, I’m a jaded cynic who lived in Vegas in the 90′s and I STILL was taken aback. I truly regret A) not talking to the guy B) not getting a picture of him.

That bar scene was like something out of Star Wars. Hell, I witnessed someone spending half an hour talking into a juicebox thinking it was a phone. That’s just Vegas.

It is what it is.

It’s surprising to me that I ever lived there. How did I emerge out the other side? I guess it’s true: God takes care of fools and drunks.

I purposely didn’t play much poker this visit, instead enjoying booze and conversations. I’ve played enough poker the last two years to fill a lifetime. But upon returning home, I wanted to sit and fold.

So I just had a kickass weekend, avoiding all shopping malls and ultimately hitting the boat for some daytime poker. Because I barely played in Vegas and wanted to scratch that itch, I played for about 8 hours. But alas, I got felted twice both on poor plays on my part. It’s one thing if I played the hand correctly and lose – not much I can do there. It’s quite another to poorly play a hand on every street.

The drive home ain’t too fun after the latter.

I’m having a very difficult time paying attention at the poker tables these days. I think it’s because it doesn’t matter anymore. I have a job now. And the stakes aren’t high enough at my boat to cause me to sit up straight and pay attention. I’m not sure what to do here – I still love hitting the room but it seems unproductive if I’m not interested enough to concentrate.

Maybe I need a road trip to Caesars, Indiana. Play some Pot-Limit 08 and make my toes clench.

Stay tuned.

My job has been going well – far better than i ever expected. I truly think the best thing about work is Lunch. It’s a chance to get some colleagues out of the office to chat about random non-work topics.

But more importantly, I love exploring restaurants in and around downtown Cincinnati. Lately, I’ve been having fun at this organic, vegan-friendly joint that just opened up.

There’s nothing more I love than ordering a veggie burger deluxe with extra bacon.

Maudie thinks it should be called the “Iggy burger.”

For the record, I challenged Bawdy Maudie to blog the oral sex conversation that occurred at the bar. Basically each blogger gave one tip and/or technique and an instant consortium was born with much blushing and laughter.

An excellent pic from this conversation.
Maudie is turning red.

“Lift and separate.”
There’s an ebook there somewhere.

Hit Linda’s latest post for excellent photos of the WPBT.

Enough of my inanity. Let’s get to the good stuff, shall we? I’ve collected some fine poker goodness for you today, gentle reader. Enjoy and thanks for stopping by.
But first, please click on some damn banners and try a new site. Help me stay employed. Please!

Good God, where to even begin?

Phil Hellmuth news? Of course!

Phil Hellmuth movie being made.

Hayden Christensen (“Star Wars” prequels) will play “Poker Brat” Phil Hellmuth in the biopic The Madison Kid, according to Production Weekly.

In 1989, the 24-year-old Hellmuth became the youngest World Champion of Poker by defeating the two-time defending champion, Johnny Chan, in the World Series of Poker main event. Hellmuth attended the University of Wisconsin-Madison for three years before dropping out to play poker full time much to the chagrin of his father, a professor at the school.

Hellmuth’s friend, Bob Soderstrom, wrote the script which is scheduled to begin filming April or May in Winnipeg, Canada.

I’m not even sure what to say about this. Who the hell is giving Phil career advice these days? That guy who likes to take dumps in the subway?

Again, getting angry at Phil for being a tard is like getting mad at a smurf for being blue. You don’t marry a cheeseburger and throw a fit when you find out it’s delicious.

Top Ten Phil Quotes

10) “When I watch myself on TV, I am a bit compelling..”

9) “I am the Jack Nicklaus of poker, the Tiger Woods of poker, the
Mozart of poker.”

“This guy probably can’t even spell poker.”

7) “Let me complain, it’s good for television.”

6) “Honey, I was supposed to go broke on that hand. But they forgot
one thing. I can dodge bullets baby!”

5) “Come on Sam, you know my heart is pure.”

4) “If there weren’t luck involved, I would win every time.”

3) “It’s like I can look into their souls.”

2) “I forgot my name. What’s my name. Am I Phil Hellmuth?”

1) “Poker is 100% skill and 50% luck

Best INSANE 2+2 thread ever. This was posted yesterday by some girl named Brandi Hawbaker and already has 50 freaking pages of threads. God bless the internet – it’s threads like this that recharge me to blog my ass off for you.

Never Trust Anyone
Seedy tale of a 24 year old and a 56 year old man named Tom Franklin.

My favorite line:

“Never trust a man who calls himself Captain.”

Seriously, go read the above. You won’t be disappointed. It may be the longest BUSTO post ever on 2+2.

Oh wait, I just wasted hours reading through that thread and found this wonderful subset of a story. I shoulda guessed that Dutch Boyd would somehow get involved in this. The irony of Dutch being enlisted to recover money is beyond my feeble brain.

From Brandi about Dutch:

Dutch was supposed to be talking to Tom and getting my money back. Unfortunately he is crazy and completely lied to me. He told me that Tom had agreed to give me my money as long as I signed papers that said I would never talk about him or Amanda or any of this story ever again. That was a lie. Tom does not care to give me my money. Instead, he tells everyone that I’m crazy and making it all up ~ of course to cover his own ass.

Instead Dutch was trying to sell him a patent for something. The patent was expired. I had a panic attack because I actually believed that I would get my money back. When I found out Dutch was lying to me, I couldn’t breathe. Bellagio security guards had surrounded me and called the paramedics. There is a report about it ~ if you do not believe me.

During my panic attack, my passport was stolen. Coincidence, Dutch was the one to empty my purse to look for an inhaler. He was also the one who mentioned that it was missing. He accused the three guys he was with of stealing it. I punched one of the guys. He then made up some story that if I went to the crap tables with him, it would show up. He told me that a guy named Johnny took it because he thought I was faking my panic attack.

I called Dutch a schizophrenic [censored] tonight. Told him that when he was cheering over his big suck out over Hachem this year, he looked like the biggest dumb ass of the year.

He called me an evil bitch.

I can’t stop reading this insanity. This might be the best thread ever.

Guy: “You really can’t trust guys, you better give me your bankroll”
Brandi: “Good idea, here you go. Can you take your penis off my back?”

—

1. Find young, dumb ex-stripper
2. Pay her bills
3. Cover a few satellite entries
4. Snatch her roll
5. Tea Bag her back
6. Profit

Gotta love all the 2+2′rs.

If you read the entire thread you can really feel the intelligence emanating from the posts. As if they managed to cram every member of Mensa into that little poker forum. If they all concentrated really hard they could probably lift an entire building with just the power of their minds.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Whoops – spoke too soon. It seems I’ve discovered some short videos featuring both Brandi and Dutch Boyd.

# Dutch Boyd talks about threats from Captain Tom Franklin
# Brandi Hawbaker models her dress
# Dutch Boyd compares poker to crack
# Dutch Boyd and Brandi Hawbaker’s passports
# Dutch Boyd talks about phone stalking Brandi Hawbaker
# Brandi Hawbaker talks a big game

Now I’m really done.

Moving along, I love David Sklansky. I think it’s fairly obvious he’s a big fan of my blog because he’s making my dreams come true.

600 freaking posts here!!
New Fight Question

For any of you UFC fans out there, I highly recommend checking out my new UFC blog.

Best line ever from the above blog:

So there you have it. Our most loyal readers? Prison-bound assfuckers.

What next, what next? My brain is still reeling from that Brandi Hawbaker thread.

How about this? Damn interesting stuff here, especially for anyone who plays the market. Found thru Yahoo biz.

Spectrum Gaming Group, a widely respected international gaming consultancy, has listed the 21 most important trends impacting the global casino industry in 2007.

This is the third year that Spectrum has compiled this list, which addresses ongoing changes in technology, demographics, politics and regulation to determine the most significant trends.

“Our task would be simpler if we expanded this list to 40 or more, as the casino industry grows more complex,” said Michael Pollock, Spectrum managing director. “Our disciplined approach requires us to identify the core trends, as well as those that are most likely to be meaningful over the next 12 months.”

The 2007 list includes the expanded partnership between gaming and retailing, and the expansion of the hub-and-spoke business model for casino operators.

Here’s the full list:

The top 21 gambling trends for 2007 are:

Acceptance of server-based gaming, and adoption of new technology in spinning-reel slots to facilitate server-based gaming.

Adding table games to slots-only markets, leading to the “Spirograph” effect, in which neighboring markets are forced to react by expanding their offerings.

Communal gaming, in which multiple players can participate in the same electronic game.

Continued conversion of racetracks to racinos.

Continued development of luxury housing, second-homes in combination with, or adjacent to gaming properties.

Development of “hub-and-spoke” business model, with sister properties in central, feeder markets.

Evolution of gaming companies into entertainment providers.

Growing acceptance of electronic table games that meet regulatory standards in both slots-only and full-service markets.

Growing partnership between gaming, high-end retail – and the marriage between retailing and casino loyalty programs.

Growth of conventions in destination markets.

Hotel-room growth, use as marketing tool, as well as branded non-casino hotel development in non-gaming markets.

Increasing reliance by states on high-tax, franchise business model with protected geographic areas.

International Game Technology’s “Guaranteed Play” for slot customers, which guarantees players a minimum amount of time on slot machines for a set price.

Next generation of Las Vegas casinos, creating full-service metropolitan centers.

Opening of new Asian markets.

Outsourcing of food-and-beverage, partnership with signature restaurants

Private equity firms entering the gaming industry.

Reaching younger, more diverse demographics.

Remote, handheld gaming.

Tribal operators pursuing management contracts with other tribal casinos and expanding into state-sanctioned gaming jurisdictions.

Widespread acceptance of RFID chip tracking and wager recognition in table games.

—

Damnit, I kept expecting to read a bullet point stating that poker blogs would become THE medium for online poker, but sadly, the experts have missed the boat once again.
Gotta love the inspirational 2+2 threads such as this beauty:
Were you hit as a child?

I thought it was pretty damn cool that Pokertek threw a party for the poker bloggers to come check out their electronic tables. Best of all was the open bar.

My humble two cents? I didn’t care for the full game table, even though I won a silly SNG. It didn’t provide much of a poker experience, imho. You are forced to look down at your screen instead of looking at your poker peers. What fun is that?

Now I can see the heads-up table being wildly popular. An entirely different animal and well suited to anywhere you can play poker. If poker is ever legalized for bars in this country, these folks stand to make a mint.

And so I read this review of the PokerTek tables at Hollywood Park and thought I’d share it with all of you:

e poker room at Hollywood Park destine to be a failure?

Recently Hollywood Park Casino introduced a true hybrid: It’s not Internet poker. It’s not live poker with actual cards and chips. It’s a live poker game dealt by a computer and featuring animated cards and chips appearing on video displays.

Gone is the need to tip dealers and be vigilant with respect to dealer errors. Poker Tech tables featured in the e poker room do all of the work a dealer would normally do faster and without mistakes. Unfortunately an attractive game presentation and a special 10 cent per hand comp offered by Hollywood Park to those who agree to play does not seem to be enough to entice casino patrons to play in the e poker room.

This regular finds that very rarely are there more than 3 or 4 players playing in the e poker room at any one time. A 10 dollar morning sit and go satellite to the afternoon tournament seems popular enough but after this has concluded players depart. Apparently, if casino patrons go through all of the trouble of transporting themselves to Hollywood Park Casino then they do so in order to play to actual cards and chips rather than a touch screen video display.

Excellent point. If I wanted to look at a screen and play poker, I’d stay home and play on PokerStars or Full Tilt.

Lots of people are irked at the new “the circuit” podcast over at cardplayer.com. Sadly, Scott, Joe and Gavin are no longer with the show. I tried listening to the new one but lasted only five minutes.

In writing this humble poker blog, I read a lot. That much should be obvious. And every once in awhile I read a post that hits damn close to home. This was one of those posts:

The law school dropout’s poker blog

A public thanks to Ed Miller – Noted Poker Authority – for linking me up in his site. Pretty damn cool, considering I had no idea that Ed reads me. I’m always extremely surprised when I discover who actually does. Greg Raymer mentioning my blog as one of his reads is forever one of my favorite instances of this.

Anyway, let’s leave the self-aggrandizement behind and continue with my fine linkage.
The aforementioned Ed Miller wrote a damn interesting post entitled Bots, Cheating, and Online Poker that I encourage everyone to read.

If you want further perspective, hit the 2+2 thread discussing his article. You can never be too educated.

Here’s a pretty good interview of Daniel Negreanu over at ESPN.

From the What The Fuck Department here at PokerWorks – here’s the strangest poker eBay auction I’ve seen in awhile. Full tilt poker investment! Party bodog UB pokerstars

Somebody wanted to know why CardPlayer was running an ad for a craps system and got this reply:

Card Player Mag Ad

In a recent issue of Card Player (with JC Tran on the cover), they had a full page ad for a company claiming to have a “mathematical formula” to guarantee you win craps (for $300 + tax & s&h).

I was rather surprised that what I thought was a respectable magazine to allow such a scam to be advertised.

I wrote to them with no response.

——

Re: Card Player Mag Ad

Marty says he is surprised that Card Player magazine ran an ad for a system guaranteeing big wins at the crap table.

I’m agreed with Marty, and my opinion of this publication has been diminished.

But consider:

The USA Today regularly permits ads from non-accredited, mail order, “universities,” who will make you a doctor over night.

Many magazines run ads from various psychic hot lines and the like.

Radio networks routinely feature ads for outfits that want to name a star after you–for a slight fee, of course.

And the NY Times runs ads for the two major political parties, despite their clear record of crooked and corrupt behavior.

I found this damn funny story about Tony G from this past WSOP. Yes, he’s technically my employer but it doesn’t make this tale any less true or Tony any less cool.

Tony G hanging about at the Rio!!!

Actually, the real story is at Pocket Fives.

I’m not even sure what to say about this.
Antonio Esfandiari’s 10K Vegas Tour

I read in the latest edition of Bluff magazine that Antonio is pimping himself out as a tour guide in Las Vegas for 10K per night.

It basically says that he’s willing to show you around and talk to you about anything (poker related or not) and “teach” your how to enjoy the life and be a player.

The weird thing is that is also says that all expenses of the night are completely on the guest. So basically, you have to give Antonio 10K/night and then pay for his dinner, drinks, etc. just to hang out with him and have him show you how to be cool?????

Wow!…hahhaha…what kind of loser would actually agree to this??? I’m not putting Antonio down, but just the deal itself sounds so pathetic.

While I’m wondering just exactly what the fuck Antonio is thinking here, someone posted one of the worst poker commercials ever created. Compliments of Ultimate Bet, here we have Antonio saying the most ridiculous cliches ever. Without a shirt on.

Don’t online poker sites primarily market themselves towards men? Someone please fire the marketing director in charge of this monstrosity.

I found this essay interesting because it’s a rare old-school RGP’r that posted it. That gets serious bonus points in my book.

The Future of Poker

The December 12, 2006 edition of Card Player magazine, (with Linda Johnson on the cover), has an interesting article by senior columnist Roy Cooke. Mr. Cooke has a number of comments about how the recently enacted UIGEA – Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006 – will impact poker players and the poker industry. Mr. Cooke sees the overall impact as being bad for players – and especially for those who play (or have played) on the internet and/or play poker for a living.

Roy also believes that a side effect of all this is that the games (including live action games) will get tougher as many of the less skillful internet players will simply avoid the hassle and drop out. Roy also points out other adverse effects of the legislation which you can read in the article.

Mr. Cooke believes poker will eventually rebound from this “earthquake” and prosper again, but it will take time. He encourages readers (and players) to join the Poker Players Alliance as one of the solutions to this dilemma lies in lobbying and political action by such organizations as the PPA.

Interestingly, Mr. Cooke did not speculate (or comment) on what might occur in the courts with respect to the UIGEA. Under the provisions of the legislation that was passed, the Department of Justice and other Government agencies have a period of 270 days in which to write the rules and regulations that will put teeth into this new law. That means the UIGEA won’t really take effect until sometime in the summer of 2007. Then the question will be just how vigourously our Government intends to enforce the law – and just how determined opponents of thelegislation are to resist enforcement of the law?

Some internet web site operators, (Party Poker is the most prominent), apparently have already decided that they are not going to risk picking a fight with the U.S. Government. Other sites seem to be inviting Uncle Sam to come after them. (I can’t recall where I read this, but
somebody reported – maybe it was here on RGP – that Doyle Brunson is virtually taunting the Government to arrest him.) Whatever the case, once the regulations are issued the Government will have to enforce them – otherwise what’s the point of the law? The bottom line is that somebody is going to get arrested – and then we have a court challenge.

Personally, I welcome a court challenge. The positive is that a ruling will settle the issue once and for all. Once the judges have ruled, all the ambiguity will be removed. We will know – one way or the other – whether we have the right to [legally] play poker on the internet. I am not a lawyer, but I think there is an excellent chance that the UIGEA will not stand up to legal scrutiny. A number of attorneys and legal scholars (including UNLV law professor and gambling expert I. Nelson Rose) have noted numerous grounds on which the law can be challenged. The bottom line is that if the Government is “serious” about enforcing the UIGEA, (and they actually arrest somebody like Doyle Brunson), the Government could [potentially] suffer the
embarrassment of seeing the law declared unconstitutional. Then it would be back to square one for the Government.

Of course, it will take several years for a legal challenge to wind its way through the courts. While that is going on, I suspect that both parties, (i.e. the internet web site operators and the Government – with the able assistance of the Poker Players Alliance), will come to their senses and reach some kind of mutually agreeable accomodation. In the end I suspect we will see an agreement that guarantees the right of Americans to play poker [legally] on the internet. In exchange for this guarantee, poker players (and the site operators) will have to
agree to taxation and regulation. (A condition of the settlement will be that the Government agrees to drop enforcement of the UIGEA and Doyle Brunson [or whoever] agrees to drop his lawsuit.)

The U.S. Government will get what they want – tax revenues and saving face – and internet poker players will get what they want: The right to play poker on their computers without the fear of hassle from theGovernment. This is what I see as the future of poker.

Alan C. Lawhon

Let’s go back and revisit my mostest favorite poker player ever, Dutch Boyd. Lord knows I’m tired of writing about him but I’ve gotta follow through with the due diligence for ya’ll. Someone recently posted a rumour that someone actually got paid back some money by Russ Boyd. Same old crap responses you’d expect on RGP but Mr. Charles, the alleged Voice of Poker, strode through the muck and had this to say:

I think you’re off base here. Russ Boyd owes hundreds of people an approximate $400,000 (his estimate, not mine). We’ll never know the true number. While I’m glad he made the effort to pay ONE player back, we don’t know what his motivation(s) was/were.

I haven’t heard about him paying back John and Leslie Buchannon, whom he owes 5 figures, or even Minus 200 who was owed quite a bit less. I was only owed $20 so I could give a shit, I wrote it off.

I totally agree with Ed (doc) Hutchinson that when he starts paying everyone back WITH INTEREST I’ll be impressed. This is a 5 yr old problem. What would be wrong with adding interest? Would you loan money for 5 years with no interest? If so, please send $1000 to my paypal, and I’ll get it back to you in 2012.

I know about the inner workings of the buyout deal, as I know the man who spearheaded it very well. He is also one of the people who was owed money from PokerSpot. The group of investors offered to pay all outstanding debt, pay some money for the software and the business and asked that the PokerSpot personnel (mgmt and higher) sign 5 year non-compete clauses. If Russ and his investors cared an IOTA about the players and their reputations they would have taken the deal in a heartbeat. They declined.

I don’t know how much he paid Neal, nor is it any of my business, but I haven’t heard of ANYONE else being paid, in full or part. Nor do we know “why” he chose to only pay Neal. Russ is a very charming guy in person. I’d like to like him, but I can’t stand the fact that he kept lying to his players and didn’t take a deal that would have kept his good reputation intact. He chose to become a pariah, now he must live with that status.

Rick “DaVoice” Charles

Poor Dutch. So many haters – I don’t know how he deals with it all. I woulda given up poker a long time ago, if I was him. I guess that makes me a quitter.

Here’s one of my favorite off-topic posts from RGP this week. I don’t know why but the word ‘soy’ makes me angry and irrational.

OT: Soy will make you gay

This one’s a real hoot. We’ve discussed the right-wing lunacy of World Nut Daily before, but here’s an example of just how whacked-out these folks are. In today’s column, resident loon Jim Rutz tries to convince us that “Soy is making kids gay.” I shit you not.

The highlights:

“Unfortunately, when you eat or drink a lot of soy stuff, you’re also getting substantial quantities of estrogens.

“Estrogens are female hormones. If you’re a woman, you’re flooding your system with a substance it can’t handle in surplus. If you’re a man, you’re suppressing your masculinity and stimulating your ‘female side,’ physically and mentally.”

***

“Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That’s why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today’s rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products.”

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53327

I’ve been loathe to post anything by Mr. Paul Popinjay from RGP simply because he’s such a lame troll. His Part 1 Trip Report to Home Depot was pretty damn racist. But hey, there’s over 200 posts in this thread so he’s obviously succeeding somehow.

Discuss amongst yourselves:

Home Depot – Trip Report Part 2

So I’m headed for Home Depot. It’s a nice crisp and cool almost winter day.
Some of the colored leaves are still on the trees. A beautiful neighborhood.

On my way, I slow down to allow a young woman, her two small children, and their dog, to run across the street. They get to the other side. The woman is happy. The children are happy. The dog is happy. It’s a wonderful sight. It’s a loving, wonderful sight. And it’s Christmas time.

Yet so many on RGP are stupid atheists. Tell ME that there is no God. You miserable people suck. Especially Brewmaster and Pokerchimp. Ready to kill all the little babies through abortion. Such dark and miserable people. You think there is no God. You talk about other solar systems and life evolving, with no God. But you cannot even come close to explaining how man’s emotions came into existence. How do you explain love and joy and the feeling of Christmas time without recognizing that there is a God? You people are empty.

Paul Popinjay

Posts like the above just automatically put me into the Christmas spirit. I’m sure it’s the same for you.

Holy cow, I’m starting to get nice and toasty here. Is it time to wrap this uber up? Methinks so.

But first, allow me to implore you to try a new online poker site. Like one of those on the left, damnit.

Just try one. ONE! Support a poker blogger, damnit.
Try Mansion Poker.
One last tasty story. I hope you made it this far because this is pretty damn funny.

David Sklansky vs Ken Jennings – Poker Theorist versus Jeopardy Champion.

David posted: My $50,000 Challenge

Truly hilarious stuff. Go read it now so you get the gist of it.

Someone clued in giant brained Ken Jennings into David’s wager and he wrote about it here: You’ve got to know when to fold’em

Dear Lord, I can’t resist quoting Ken here:

Also, if you read the challenge thread, you’ve probably noticed that he comes off as a bit of a jerk. Whether or not religious belief is tied to intelligence is an interesting academic question, but he doesn’t offer any argument or scholarship to back up his belief that you’d only be into Jesus if you were dumb as a bag of hammers. Instead he offers a dumb, arbitrary intelligence test, presumably cherry-picked to match his own aptitudes. (Why not a standard IQ test or something else with a broader range than a college-level math test?

Because anyone who consistently misspells “resurrected” as “ressurected” isn’t going to beat my SAT verbal score anytime soon.) The competitive angle is what gets me: it’s not enough to insult people of faith. He wants you to know he can best them, one at a time, all comers. Maybe this kind of bluster is expected in the poker world, but
here in the real world, it makes you sound like an arrogant jackass. Or a pro wrestler.

Confusingly, he ends his post by suggesting that religious people won’t take him up on his challenge (cluck cluck! chicken!) not because they’ll lose but because they’ll fail the polygraph. Huh? Which is it? If you’re arguing that Christians’ sincere beliefs prove they’re idiots, why would you then argue that their beliefs are probably insincere as well?

Oh, and by Sklansky’s lousy reasoning tying religious belief to intelligence, he’d need to posit that, should I win, it would demonstrate now and forever that all religious people of all faiths are smarter than he is.

I’m sorry, David, but my money is on Ken. Geez, Dave, how long can a 50+ year old man keep bragging about his SAT/GRE scores?

Apparently, a long damn time.

OK, I’m fading fast. I’ve got a ton more tasty poker goodness to come so stay tuned.

RGP’r and poker pro, VeeRob, recently had this overdue trip report on RGP. Enjoy:

—-

Subject: Caribbean tournament report

I know I haven’t posted in like forever, but I haven’t been playing much
poker since starting up the Pokerdome. I’ve also been running really bad,
so there’s been nothing good to talk about.

Anyway, back on April 20th, I won a tournament on a small site called
Poker4Ever. The tournament was a fantastic deal: it was a $100+9 buyin
tournament they ran weekly, and it was a satellite to a $10k St. Maarten
Caribbean package. If you do the math, they’d need 100 people to break
in, but the tournaments were averaging 35-45 people… that means a sick
overlay. Even better, the other nine people at the final table all walked
away with $150, so if you beat 75% of the field, you break even, more or
less. I played the tournament a few weeks in a row, and I had gotten my
$150 a few times. On Thursday, April 20th, I was in a small town in Utah
with my friend’s band Over It. I ended up playing this tournament in
their backstage dressing room, and a few hours later, I won!

The package, at the time, consisted of the following: $1700 in cash to
cover two plane tickets, 9 nights at the Sonesta Maho Beach Hotel, a $5000
tournament buyin, plus a few other perks. I pocketed the cash, and I used
my American Airlines credits to book a roundtrip flight, so I spent
something like $60 on taxes and fees. Now I had some spending money for
food and shopping! Poker4Ever ended up changing what was in the package,
so the tournament would be a $3000 tournament buyin, and they’d give me
$2000 in credits for their other tournaments. Unfortunately, I had
already booked my flight and would miss their other tournaments, so they
agreed to give me $2000 in cash when I arrived in St. Maarten. Not a bad
deal as I’d end up with a total of $3700 in cash plus a $3k buyin. Sweet!

TUESDAY, 12/12/06 @ 7:11pm

Well it’s dinner break, and let me just say that this tournament couldn’t
be going any worse for me. Short of being out, that is. The tournament
got only 91 entrants, so there was a nice overlay — over $200k in free
prize money. And they’ll be playing 27 spots, so I have a decent shot at
the money. They decided to increase the starting stacks from 10k to 15k
due to the low number of entrants, but unfortunately I am currently
sitting with a mere 7100 in chips. My table draw seemed to be tough, as
the players didn’t look as donk-ish as the players I saw at other tables.
By now I realize that they’re mostly average to terrible players, and
there’s only two players at my table that are on my playing level.
Unfortunately, they’re the ones that have taken most of my chips.

I saw lots of flops in the first level, and in my first key loss of the
night, I limped with 3d 4d after two limpers. We saw a flop of AQ7, two
diamonds. The big blind bet out around 200, and I raised to 625 with my
flush draw. He called, and unfortunately I didn’t have much of a read on
him. The turn brought the 2c, which gave me a gutshot straight draw to go
with my flush draw. He checked, and I checked through, taking my free
card as I felt he wouldn’t be pushed off his hand easily. The river
missed me with a blank, and he checked again. With this check, I felt
like he might just have a queen, or he might have been on a flush draw,
too, so I bet around 900. He called, so I tabled my hand so I could get
action later. He showed Q7 for bottom two, and played it a little weak, I
think. After watching him play, though, I respect his game immensely. I
haven’t seen him get out of line, yet.

The other good player, Mr. Aggressive, started making a habit out of
raising my big blind when it was his button. In the second or third
level, I defended with a reraise with Ah Jh. I made a continuation bet on
a T9x flop, and was chagrined to have him raise. No heart on the flop,
even. I folded.

Then the heartbreaker hand came, which in retrospect I am happy to have
lost as little as I did. The blinds were 75/150, and Mr. Aggressive made
it 425 from early position. I read this as a steal raise, where he didn’t
have all that much but wanted to prevent others from raising. I had Tc 8c
and debated reraising him to take the pot away, but with a large field
behind me, decided not to risk it. I just called, and we amazingly saw
the flop heads up (the BB is a huge donk). The flop came 886, and Aggie
checked to me. I decided to bet out 500, as I had been decently
aggressive at picking up dead pots, and this player was “good enough” to
call me with ace high in this spot, thinking he was good. He called, and
we saw the turn, a queen. He checked again. Now I read his range as ace
high, a small pair, or if he was very lucky, 66. I checked through,
looking as if I made my one stab and was going to give up on the pot. The
river paired the queen, making the final board 886QQ, and Aggie bet out
1200. So sick. For some reason, it felt like he had a queen. I could
beat so many hands… everything except for a queen. I thought about
raising here, but I figured he can’t call a raise with anything. Aces,
66, 33… I couldn’t find ONE HAND he could call my raise with. And if he
hit a miracle runner runner queen with KQ or AQ, I’d lose the minimum by
calling. So I called. He said, “Queen?” And I said, “No, no.” I’m just
about to table my hand when he flips over QJ. Apparently he was saying
that HE had a queen, not asking me if I had one. Wow, he called my bet on
the flop with QJ. Whether he was planning on trying to take the pot away
from me or if he really thought his queen high was good, I’ll never know,
but this pot was absolutely devastating to me.

I watched some complete donkstrikery shortly after that hand. Old Man
brought it in for 625 from UTG, and it folded around to the cutoff, a kid
who made these insane raises preflop. It’d be like 25/50 and he’d bring
it in for 1000. He showed aces the first raise he made, and he won the
pot uncontested. I believe he said something like, “Man, I wish I could
just stick all of my chips in when I see aces.” Anyway, this is
interesting because after Old Man has made it 625, he thinks and pushes
all in, something like 12k. It folds to Old Man, and he instacalls. He
has kings, the kid has aces. Obv. Amazingly, had I had the kings, this
would have been the first time I could have folded them preflop. No
problem. Old Man goes out and kid doubles up.

I continue to get raped in the hour or two later. I got infinite pairs
and called small raises and never connected. I flopped a straight draw
that never made it, I flopped a flush draw and called a bet. but got
raised behind me. Got into another pot with Aggie where he raised preflop
from the SB and I decided to just call with 77. The flop came 992, he bet
out, I raised him, and he stuffed all in. I tanked for a long time and
eventually folded. He might be aggressive, but he hadn’t pushed all of
his chips in yet. Great.

so there’s the tournament so far. I have another 40 minutes left in my 90
minute break, so I’m off to grab some dinner. I hope to have a better
report at the end of the day.

WEDNESDAY, 12/13/06 @ 2:21am

Well, it’s the end of the first day of the tournament. If you care to
read on, you can see how the day went. Or if you want to skip to the
meat, go to the end of this post and you can see where I stand at the end
of the day.

Coming back from the dinner break, the disgusting play continued. I
called a raise with Kd Td from a very rookie player… so rookie, in fact,
that he put all of his chips in his pockets when he moved tables. And
amazingly, the chips weren’t taken out of play. Anyway, the flop was AK8
and he checked to me. He had check raised a few times, so I checked
through. The turn was a 9. He bet the pot and I called, not wanting the
pot to grow too big. I was 70% sure he didn’t have an ace, but if I
raised and he pushed all in, I would be in a terrible situation. The
river paired the 9 for a final board of AK899. Now I had kicker
protection in case he had KQ or KJ. He bet out 3/4 pot, and I called. He
tabled Q9. Fantastic.

100/200 level and I’m down to around 5k. A solid player in early position
raises to 700, and it folds to me in the cutoff. I see AK suited and
debate a smaller re-raise, but I end up pushing. It folds back to the
solid player and he tanks for awhile and eventually folds, saying a 60/40
isn’t good enough. I ask him if I had the 60% or the 40%, and he said I
had the 40%. I figured he had AJ and thought I had KQ, so I asked him if
he had AJ. He didn’t answer. An hour later I had asked him if it was AT,
and he said it wasn’t even that good. Wow, ace rag and he almost called
me. Damn.

I picked up pocket tens and raised, and was called by a decent player.
The flop came AA3, and my only two choices were to go all in or check due
to the size of the pot. For some reason, this player had trip aces on his
breath. I checked, he put me all in, I folded. He showed AK.

Aggie came back in action with a button raise, and I found jacks in the
big blind. Easy push. He thought for a bit and finally elected to call
for 30% of his chips with KQ suited. Surprising to me, but he thought I
thought he was just stealing from the button, and his KQ could possibly be
good. Interesting. The flop was 886, which was the same flop when I had
T8 and he had QJ and hit runner runner on me. I told him his KQ was
infinitely good. Luckily, the board bricked and I doubled up to about
10k. I also won something else in that pot… my spirits back.

At 150/300, Crazy Kid with the insanely overbet hands limped in in early
position, and I limped on the button with KJ. I wanted to raise to get it
heads up, but it was very likely he could push all in on me. I couldn’t
fold KJ on the button, so calling seemed an OK option. Maybe I should
have just folded it preflop. Luckily, I didn’t, as the flop came KJ4.
Both blinds and Crazy Kid checked, and I bet 800. The blinds folded, and
Crazy Kid pushed all in. Yup, 2k in the pot and he’s in there for all of
my 10k. I didn’t instacall as I wanted to make sure he didn’t have 44. I
figured out it’s much more likely that he limped in with AK or KQ and
thought he was good. I called, and he showed AJ. Umm, ok. How I dodged
that ace I don’t know, but I finally sat at average chips with 18k.

Unfortunately, that would be my high point for the day. I picked up tens
again and raised preflop, and had the kid shove in on me. His range of
hands is big, but not big enough for me to call. I fold, he doesn’t show.
After that, I burned off a few thousand chips with a few failed bluffs
and unfortunate flops and was down to about 12k.

I picked up jacks again in the small blind and just called an early
position raise from an 18 year old Finnish kid in his first tournament. I
didn’t want to commit myself with a reraise as he could easily have a
bigger pair. The flop came T92, and I check raised his 1100 bet to 3500.
If he pushed, I’d have a big decision. Luckily he took some time as soon
as it was back on him, and I was pretty sure he had AQ or AK. He folded,
and I later found out he did indeed have AQ.

I made my Joe Hashem play of the day shortly thereafter. Three limpers at
150/300 and I raised to 1500 on the button with 53o. Everyone folds, I
show my hand. My one big bluff of the day, and I hoped it would get me
action next time there were a few limpers and I raised with a real hand.

The 18 year old kid raised in early position again, and I found tens on
the button. Being in position, I decided this time I would reraise
preflop. Unfortunately he didn’t have very many chips, so if he pushed
I’d be calling, and I’d either be racing or in very bad shape. Perhaps I
should have just called? Anyway, I reraised, he folded, and I found out
later he had AQ again, and he kicked himself for not open pushing. I
think he had too many chips to go all in with, so I don’t mind the
raise-fold.

More time goes on, and infinite more pairs that don’t make sets. Infinite
flush draws that don’t make flushes and that don’t succeed in pushing
people off hands with a raise. Just the same with straight draws. I’ve
never had such a bad tournament when it comes to hitting flops. Hell, I
remember a hand where I had 69 in the SB and limped against the BB, who
won every pot against me. The flop was A78, I bet, he called. Turn 3, I
bet, he called. River 4, I checked, he put me all in. I folded, he
showed 56. I mean come on! Why can’t he miss, we both check, and my 9
high takes down a nice pot? No such luck.

I lose 3k in a pot when I call a raise with 66 from the tight gentleman to
my right. The flop is 995, and he checks. I check behind as I think he
may be trapping with a big pair. Turn 7 and he checks again. I bet 2k,
he check raises to 7k. I fold, he shows 77. I later discuss the hand
with him, and he was indeed not trapping on the flop. He’s the type of
player that is scared of monsters in the closet, and he actually wasn’t
crazy about the 995 flop. I don’t think I could have gotten him off the
hand, but I don’t see how you raise preflop with 77 and don’t bet a ragged
flop like that.

A few orbits later, I’m down to 7500 or so when there’s a limp at 300/600
and then a raise to 2800 from the same gentleman to my right. I have AQ
and feel like I should fold. He’s so tight I think my AQ’s gotta be beat,
and there’s still players left to act. Unfortunately, I ignore these
thoughts of folding and end up pushing all in, rationalizing that he could
have a pocket pair I need to race against, or he might have AQ and fold.
It folds to him, and he doesn’t instacall, so that’s a good sign. He asks
how much more, and eventually he calls. If he calls, I’m beat, and I fear
he might have found the call with AK, tightass that he is. I say, “I’m
going home” and table my hand. He tables fucking kings. No slowroll, he
is just afraid of the monsters in the closet. I spike an ace on the flop,
however, and amazingly win the hand, even though there’s four spades on
board. Just for spite, I tell him if he would have called quicker, his
hand would have held up.

I watched The Rookie blow up and reraise me after there had been a caller
inbetween us. I folded what I think was TJs, and the caller pushed all
in. The Rookie found a call with 66, and the caller had JJ. Such a bad
call. No 6′s and the guy was down to 1225 in chips. Of course it was my
BB the next hand, and he pushed in. Easy math call, so I call dark. I
have T7, he has QJ. I miss. He pushes in on me again and I end up
calling with KQ. He has 77 and I miss. The third time took a bite out of
me. I limped after another limper with 44, and he ended up pushing all
in. This time it was 3k or so. I asked him what he had, and he more or
less told me he wanted to go to bed. That was enough for me to call, and
he showed his TJo. Of course the board ended up 6789A. Now I’m down to a
around 14k.

I bring it in for a raise at 300/600 with TJs from the cutoff, and the
button min-reraises me. I hate to call here, but with the antes and
blinds, I’m getting great pot odds with a hand that can crack a big pair.
I hit the flop in the worst possible way… J86. I should have just check
folded, but I foolishly bet 3k. He instantly moved all in, and I had an
easy muck. What a dumb bet to bring me down to 8k.

Nothing happens for a few orbits, and the players are getting slow as hell
as it is now 2am. It’s really irritating, especially as I’m sitting on a
short stack. I’d like to see as many hands as possible before the blinds
go up tomorrow. I’m folding a lot, and with 20 minutes left on the clock,
I end up pushing all in with A6o from the cutoff for around 7k. There’s
1500 in dead money in the pot, so it’s worth a push to pick up the hands.
Hopefully everyone notices that I’ve been playing tight for the last few
orbits. The button is pained, and it looks like he is going to muck. He
eventually announces all in, so I figure I was Hollywood-ed. I ask him if
I’m up against aces, and he says, no, nothing that good. Yeah, he
reraised all in with fives. Wow. And this after discussion with the guy
of how small pocket pairs suck in situations like this. He had around 22k
total, and he’s risking over a third of it with 5′s. Anyway, obviously
the board bricks out for me and I’m out.

I don’t know whether to be happy or sad that I’m out before day 2. I
guess I’m glad I don’t have to come fight the short stack at 400/800, but
it’s a pretty sick way to go out. What a rollercoaster today was. My
hats off to those of you that play this high for a living. Much too much
stress for me to do this day in, day out. I’ll take the normal job with
poker on the side. It’s a bummer I didn’t cash, but I’m glad I didn’t
bubble at least. And I walk with $3700 in money from the package, plus I
have 5 days in paradise. Can’t beat that!

——–

Thanks for reading. I’ll be back soon with much more.

Link of the Day:

Hearts and Minds
Some kindly soldiers hold an impromptu English lesson for a group of Iraqi youths.