IGGY at PokerWorks

“To me the funny part is all these kids who talk about “wrinkly old dick”.
Hard dicks don’t have any wrinkles.”
Gary Carson on the Brandi/Captain Tom episode

Dear Geezus, please let Gary come to the next blogger get-together.

Welcome to an attempted uber post. Maybe not so much uber as crappy, but still, it beats working, don’t it? Let’s go ahead and Destroy some Workplace Productivity, shall we?

Stay tuned to Linda’s blog for major news.

Woohoo! The news is out! Allow me a hoist of the Guinness to JoeSpeaker, Amy Calistiri, Change100 & my close buddy, Maudie to the PokerWorks empire. Plus, there’s one more coming…….
Enjoy the following tangential poker nonsense. I’m here for you.
I played a ton of poker over the holidays. I’m typically getting beaten up pretty good in PLO8. As in every damn day. Methinks it’s time to step down to lower limits - I’m very tired of donating, damnit. My poker play right now is like being in a sewer main without a flashlight.

Thanks to Drizz for a little help in o8. I’m trying to embed the concept of counterfeit protection in my feeble brain. I’ve been counterfeited and quartered so many freaking times lately I could spit.

On the plus side, I was bumped up to PlatinumStar VIP status on PokerStars. And also, I’ve had a few O8 concepts come home to roost in the same way Jesus comes to those who drink in trailers: as an epiphany.

By the way, if anyone reading this is NOT playing at PokerStars, you are deeply and profoundly retarded. Please go sign up now.

I read where some people took issue with the insane Brandi Hawbaker - Captain Tom thread and I suppose I can understand that. Myself, I love a good car wreck.

As an added bonus, I learned the new word Huggle, which according to Wikopedia means:

—

Huggle is a portmanteau word combining hug and snuggle. It is meant as a display of affection, and is typically non-sexual in nature.

Huggling and glomping is a common tradition in some Internet chat rooms and a popular user may get a dozen of huggles when he or she enters.

—

Glomping? Yikes, that’s a new one fer me.
And not in a good way.

Tanya, the princess of RGP, had a good question about RGP and it’s current low-rent state amongst other forums. I think Gary Carson gave a fine, if incomplete, answer.

Subject: Re: OT: I Don’t Get It

Tanya AKA MissT74 wrote:

>
> So with all the current drama going on over at 2+2, which was then cross
> referenced to other drama from 2+2, which was then cross referenced to other
> drama at NeverwinPoker.com, which was then cross referenced on
> PocketFives.com…….
>
> Can someone tell me how and/or why RGP is given such a shitty ranking by other
> forums???

You probably never will understand it.

It’s because most people have an intense personal need to be accepted and validated by others. Rgp does not have anyone on payroll with the job of validating the fears and biases of posters.

There are other reasons, It’s all about social fears.

I won’t participate in a moderated forum simply becuase I don’t want to be moderated. But other’s like moderated forums because if someone else gets thrown out of the group it validates their acceptance as being special.

The sex thing is because the psychology of moderation is pretty much the same as the psychology of 19 year old frat boys — they elevate themselves into a self-identified “speical” status by defining others as not worthy. And the part of the brain that we get our human traits of caring about others don’t fully develop until about 22.
Gary Carson

Gary, you forgot to mention the incessant spam, trolls and begging for money that constitutes 98% of RGP.

Also, someone with way too much time on their hands did a fine Shakespearean job on the Brandi/Captain debacle. Enjoy - this guy is good.

Shakespeare on 2+2

To anal, or not to anal–that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The swings and beats of drudgerous grinding
Or to take anal from a sea of Captains
And by relenting end them. To handjob, to grind–
No more–and by a grind to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand BB loss days
That the donkey is heir to. ‘Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To handjob, to grind–
To anal–perchance to satellite: ay, there’s the rub,
For in that plundering of ass what satellites may come
When we have stacked off on the bubble,
Must give us pause. There’s the respect
That makes calamity of so many handjobs.
For who would bear the be-be tops and rent,
Th’ internet boards, the grown man’s sad wheeping
The penis on the back, the cheap toasters,
The two-plus-two skin rash jokes, and the spurns
That patient merit of th’ unworthy takes,
When she herself might her quietus make
With an ass ravish? Who would learn sklansky,
To multi-table in a grinding life,
But that the dread of something after anal,
post the satellites, from whose bourn
No mere rounder returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly away someday to others that we know not of?

Oh the Humanity.

I’m bummed because at this time last year, I was lucky to spend some quality time in Tunica with some of my favorite poker bloggers. And I have one little story to tell from that time. And no, it’s not about getting bubbled in the $1500 WSOP event when losing to a rivered straight flush.

After an evening of boozing and excellent conversation with Maudie at the bar, I “befriended” a couple who ended up pickpocketing me. I realized it almost immediately, but alas, they had quickly absconded with my wallet containing nearly two grand, along with my credit cards, ID and everything else.

Initially, I was livid at myself. I’ve always carried cash in a money clip in my front pocket. For the first time ever, I stupidly kept cash in my wallet, foolishly thinking that the South was a kinder, gentler location.

Have you ever tried to get into your hotel room without ID or credit cards? It’s not fun and damn near impossible. Especially when inebriated.

I pleaded and groveled but the front desk refused to budge. This was a problem.

Thankfully, when I travel I tend to go overboard on the reading material. Better safe than sorry, I say.

And so I drunkenly made a list of the books I had brought with me and challenged them to go check and see if they weren’t indeed all in my backpack.

As luck would have it, they sent a security guard to check and BAM - I was in. I suppose I should thank Philip Roth for the assist.

Whew, what a mess that was. Too bad I don’t get a chance to relive the hijinks.

Enough of my inanity, let’s move onto better things.

Here’s one helluva story:
Guy bets his life savings on roulette?!

There was a 1 hour documentary about this, pretty interesting, and definitely not faked. It’s Ashley Revell, a resident of London. The win was tax free.

Ashley Revell wiki entry.

Not as impressive as the guy that bet $777,000 at the Craps table in Binion’s casino in Vegas. As I recall, he won the bet, and spent several days at one of Binion’s ranches being a semi-celebrity.

Later, he took other shots at the casino, then he bet an even million dollars. This time he was not as lucky - lost the mill, then soon thereafter killed himself.

Ah, here’s a link:
Gambling’s Greatest Wins, Runs, Records and Legends

This is a fine anecdote:

Australian billionaire was once at a table with some rich, loud, obnoxious Texan:

Finally, Kerry asks the man to ease up. The man gets louder: “Do you know who I am? I am worth 60 million dollars, pardner!” He pauses to let this sink in, then says: “Sixty million dollars, pardner. That’s what I’m worth.”

Packer eyes him and says: “I’ll flip you for it!”.

Damnit, I lost the link for the above.

I’ve been doing my typical voracious reading over the holiday. Thanks to SirWaffles, I rediscovered WinterMute’s LJ poker journal. And yes, I read the entire thing. To say that he made me realize how pathetic my conceptual understanding of pl08 is would be a grave understatement. He’s a very talented hater. Strange aside, he blames Felicia for getting banned at 2+2.

On the flip side, it’s amazing how easy NLHE is after getting your face kicked in exclusively at plo8 for a few weeks.

Wow, I’m really disappointed that David Sklansky pulled his 10k challenge thread after getting abused by Jeopardy champ, Ken Jennings. Pathetic. Anyway, enjoy Ken’s post here in case you missed it the first time.

You’ve got to know when to fold ‘em

On the flip side, here is further evidence that David might possibly be deeply insane: Read his thread: Another Way To Explain My Rape/ Prostitute Position.

I’ve been taking book on Hillary as president. I don’t care what Karol says.

Having a woman president is a very cute idea, kinda like having a monkey play the harmonica.

Speaking of which, I had a big old follow up to the Brandi Hawbaker thread on 2+2, but damnit, she deleted her tribe blog. Prolly a wise move, as it was pretty dreadful.

For those of you who didn’t have the heart to wade through the muck, someone took the time to post the Essential Content from “Never Trust Anyone” Thread. Take a peek if you want the abridged version. Well worth it.

Damn, I completely missed Ed Miller’s wife’s post about why he left 2+2. How is this possible? If you guessed beer, you’d be close.

Anyway, here is her blog post entitled: What Really Happened? with plenty of Mason Malmuth bashing. Is there anyone out there who likes Mason? Anyone?

Speaking of people who enjoy making friends, cranky Arlo Payne of RGP fame drew much ire with this post.

People that announce they are going pro on RGP

No wonder they want to ban online poker.

I would guess between online poker and poker on TV the divorce must be increasing.

Let us take a small look at just a couple of people.

There was a guy that seemed to be doing well online decided to go pro. He ended up broke and divorced plus he owes a ton of people here money and does not post here anymore.

Then there is Fellknight that announced he was going pro. Now he is living in Kingman and I tell you if I had to pick beween living in Kingman or having my balls cut off I would even pay for the knife.

Now we have Morphy. I sure hope he has a big bag full of money and knows a good divorce lawyer.

I would also bet online poker had alot to do with Cindy getting a divorce.

Also it is clear poker was a huge factor in Tanya and her hubbys split. Don’t get me wrong I like all these people but one really needs to say it like they see it.

Ahhh, the morally superior. Gotta love em.

I truly enjoyed Shamu’s excellent post about poker blogs.
Who Wants to Write About Poker?

Off topic incredible video of conjoined twin girls who are now teens.

These conjoined twins live an incredibly normal life, regardless of how they look. This video is an interesting insight into their normal lives

This next bit is off-topic but I truly loved sniglets back in the day so I’m posting this for ME.

Subject: OT Word Fun

Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffeti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

willy-nilly, adj. impotent.

negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

——–

Ok, ok, back to poker. Let’s play a game of What Would Jesus do here. From RGP:

Would you call?

5/10 NL ring game, 9 handed

you have AA in cut off, folded to you. You raised to 30, Folded to BB. He reraised to 80. You have 800 in your stack, you raised again to 280. BB called, he has you covered,

Flop K52 rainbow. You dont really like the K, because you think he might be suffering from FPS with KK, or made a poor call with AK, with a remote possibly of QQ…BB checked…you bet 160, BB called.

Turn is a T, stil rainbow board. BB Jammed, Do you call because although you are behind to KK, you are ahead of AK…?

More importantly, even if you are behind to KK…you’ve put about 30% of your stack into the pot preflop, and if KK had got lucky, you got to pay him off really.

Comments on this line of thought?

I’m a little Guinness-fueled but the answer still seems easy to me.

I know lots of folks who loving thinking about these types of poker problems. Me? I prefer to have a cold beer and let other folks debate it.

Ruling Needed

I am going to do my best to draw this picture.

Home game, no professional dealers. Cards are dealt to a 5 handed table. Two players end up folding (positions do not matter). The three remaining players are all-in (except on player, who has them covered).

Player 1 has A5o
Player 2 has QQ
Player 3 has KK

The flop, turn and river are dealt, but from the wrong deck. The correct deck is still on the table and has not been touched (except for dealing the 10 cards out to the players). The turn with the wrong deck shows a Q. Neither of the other hands improve.

We recognize the error, reconstruct the pots and run cards off the correct deck. It was my ruling that since the wrong deck was used for the board, and the correct deck was undisturbed, that we re-run the board. Player 2 protests and claims (incorrectly) that he won ‘fair and square’ and if we do anything, we have to kill the entire hand. Player 1 says ’so there is a chance I can still catch an A? Then run them’.

The re-run of the board improves nobody’s hand and the KK holds up to win.

Was this the correct ruling? If not, what would be the correct ruling?

Again the correct ruling is getting a cold beer and enjoying your home game. Next question? Speaking of which, time for a refill. Sometimes these ubers require the moral support of copious amounts of Guinness. This is one of those times.

I just noticed that Daniel Negreanu’s new book, Power Hold’em Strategy, is due out in early February. Is it too much to hope for a solid strategy book?

I almost forgot to post Alan’s treatise on the UIGEA. Solid fodder here.

The Future of Poker

The December 12, 2006 edition of Card Player magazine, (with Linda Johnson on the cover), has an interesting article by senior columnist Roy Cooke. Mr. Cooke has a number of comments about how the recently enacted UIGEA - Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006 - will impact poker players and the poker industry. Mr. Cooke sees the overall impact as being bad for players - and especially for those who
play (or have played) on the internet and/or play poker for a living. Roy also believes that a side effect of all this is that the games (including live action games) will get tougher as many of the less skillful internet players will simply avoid the hassle and drop out. Roy also points out other adverse effects of the legislation which you can read in the article.

Mr. Cooke believes poker will eventually rebound from this “earthquake” and prosper again, but it will take time. He encourages readers (and players) to join the Poker Players Alliance as one of the solutions to this dilemma lies in lobbying and political action by such organizations as the PPA.

Interestingly, Mr. Cooke did not speculate (or comment) on what might occur in the courts with respect to the UIGEA. Under the provisions of the legislation that was passed, the Department of Justice and other Government agencies have a period of 270 days in which to write the rules and regulations that will put teeth into this new law. That means the UIGEA won’t really take effect until sometime in the summer
of 2007. Then the question will be just how vigourously our Government intends to enforce the law - and just how determined opponents of the legislation are to resist enforcement of the law?

Some internet web site operators, (Party Poker is the most prominent), apparently have already decided that they are not going to risk picking a fight with the U.S. Government. Other sites seem to be inviting Uncle Sam to come after them. (I can’t recall where I read this, but somebody reported - maybe it was here on RGP - that Doyle Brunson is virtually taunting the Government to arrest him.) Whatever the case, once the regulations are issued the Government will have to enforce them - otherwise what’s the point of the law? The bottom line is that somebody is going to get arrested - and then we have a court challenge.

Personally, I welcome a court challenge. The positive is that a ruling will settle the issue once and for all. Once the judges have ruled, all the ambiguity will be removed. We will know - one way or the other - whether we have the right to legally] play poker on the internet.

I am not a lawyer, but I think there is an excellent chance that the UIGEA will not stand up to legal scrutiny. A number of attorneys and legal scholars (including UNLV law professor and gambling expert I. Nelson Rose) have noted numerous grounds on which the law can be challenged. The bottom line is that if the Government is “serious” about enforcing the UIGEA, (and they actually arrest somebody like Doyle Brunson), the Government could [potentially] suffer the embarrassment of seeing the law declared unconstitutional. Then it would be back to square one for the Government.

Of course, it will take several years for a legal challenge to wind its way through the courts. While that is going on, I suspect that both parties, (i.e. the internet web site operators and the Government - with the able assistance of the Poker Players Alliance), will come to their senses and reach some kind of mutually agreeable accomodation.

In the end I suspect we will see an agreement that guarantees the right of Americans to play poker [legally] on the internet. In exchange for this guarantee, poker players (and the site operators) will have to agree to taxation and regulation. (A condition of the settlement will be that the Government agrees to drop enforcement of the UIGEA and Doyle Brunson [or whoever] agrees to drop his lawsuit.)

The U.S. Government will get what they want - tax revenues and saving face - and internet poker players will get what they want: The right to play poker on their computers without the fear of hassle from the Government. This is what I see as the future of poker.

Alan C. Lawhon
Huntsville, Alabama

Looking for a post-Christmas gift for the poker friend or family member? You may wanna consider the hardcover edition of “52 Greatest Moments World Series of Poker” is now available at 52 Poker Moments.

I was honoured to spend some time at the MGM bar with Lou Kreiger and Oliver Tse. I was particularly fascinated to chat with Oliver, since he’s one of my all-time favorite RGP posters. He, of course, had no clue who I was and seemed bemused by this little drunken dwarf guy peppering him with poker questions.

Anyway, Oliver had this to say about poker and the impending emerging Asian market.

Poker In Macau

WPT will be on Macau Cable TV in 2007. That’s really small potatoes (expected viewership to be on the order of 1000 households or less) given that most of the gamblers in Macau are day-trippers from Hong Kong, Taiwan, and the GuangDong Province of China. (Cantonese is the dialect of choice in Macau.)

(Discovery Channel Asia won’t air the BetFair APT in China, Taiwan, or Hong Kong until the Spring of 2007.)

I don’t expect a WPT event in Macau at the MGM Grand Macau until the 1st quarter of 2008 at the earliest. The MGM Grand Macau won’t open until the 4th quarter of 2007.

There is a possibility that another American-owned mega-resort casino in Macau (i.e. Wynn Macau or Venetian Macau) will host a major televised poker tournament in the 2nd half of 2007. That event obviously will NOT be a WPT event.

Nothing has been announced yet.

Texas Hold’em will eventually have a niche in Macau, but I don’t expect much if any progress until 2008. (My client swung my Macau on her trip to Singapore in November. She told me that those hourly Air Macau “gambler” commuter flights between Taipei and Macau were jam-packed.)

Damnit, I wish I could translate my blogs into Cantonese.

Here’s an example of a poor time to bluff Phil Ivey:

Full Tilt Poker Game #1406257774: Table Colleen (heads up) - $200/$400 - No Limit Hold’em - 0:09:24 ET

Seat 1: Phil Ivey ($44,971.50)
Seat 2: OMGClayAiken ($67,617.50)
OMGClayAiken posts the small blind of $200
Phil Ivey posts the big blind of $400
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
OMGClayAiken raises to $1,200
Phil Ivey raises to $3,600
OMGClayAiken calls $2,400
*** FLOP *** [9d 3s 8c]
Phil Ivey bets $5,200
OMGClayAiken calls $5,200
*** TURN *** [9d 3s 8c] [Ah]
Phil Ivey checks
OMGClayAiken checks
*** RIVER *** [9d 3s 8c Ah] [7s]
Phil Ivey bets $13,200
OMGClayAiken raises to $57,200
Phil Ivey has 15 seconds left to act
Phil Ivey calls $22,971.50, and is all in
Uncalled bet of $21,028.50 returned to OMGClayAiken
*** SHOW DOWN ***
OMGClayAiken shows [Qh Jc] (Ace Queen high)
Phil Ivey shows [As 7d] (two pair, Aces and Sevens)
Phil Ivey wins the pot ($89,942.50) with two pair, Aces and Sevens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $89,943 | Rake $0.50
Board: [9d 3s 8c Ah 7s]
Seat 1: Phil Ivey (big blind) showed [As 7d] and won ($89,942.50) with two pair, Aces and Sevens
Seat 2: OMGClayAiken (small blind) showed [Qh Jc] and lost with Ace Queen high

Whoops, I almost forgot this fine two part interview with Taylor Caby aka Green Plastic, a young online pro who’s pretty well known. Worthy read: ‘Green Plastic’ Speaks.

Well, I read about the Pokerroom fiasco over two weeks ago, but decided to give them some time to Make Things Right before blogging about it. Surely they would?

Nope.

And now word is spreading fast and furious. And I’m inclined to permanently boycott their site because of this.

Old school blogger, Richard Brodie wrote: Pokerroom cheats customers

The esteemed Terrance Chen tackled it as well. Plus, he blasted the hell out of Dutch Boyd for what Dutch wrote in his blog. Yikes! Go read Terrance’s excellent post now:
Scumbags

From Terrance per the Pokerroom stupidity:

Apparently what happened was that PokerRoom advertised a $19000 guarantee for its $20+2 tournament. Only 265 players entered, resulting in a huge overlay for those who entered. This overlay was not atypical for the holiday season; PokerNews.com reported over the weekend that Stars, Full Tilt, Mansion Poker, UB and Party all missed their recent guarantees. The difference was: all of those sites actually paid out their guarantees. PokerRoom didn’t.

The winner of the PokerRoom tournament reports in that thread that he won the first prize of $3829.81 and a $2000 HDTV. Later that week, they went into his account and removed $3425.06 of his prize money!

Wow.

Here’s a poker room forum thread: Big Xmas guarantee that wasn’t

2+2 thread on it: Fraud at Pokerroom.com

And a pocketfives thread: Pokerroom Conmen

More importantly, I found Terrance’s year end post about wagering on UFC fights fascinating. Why? Because the UFC blog I helped start six weeks ago had 50,000 hits yesterday, that’s why.

More on Terrance’s thoughts on wagering on this crazy sport that is replacing boxing: MMA bets

One of the best parts of blogging is finding scintillating thoughts on this here interweb. Reading is my addiction and far too often I gotta slog thru the chaff to find the wheat.

I, too, read Paul Phillips links to Philip Greenspun’s piece on Early Retirement and it caused me to sit, spin and think. Money has always been nothing but a means to an end for me. Until I got very serious about poker, that is. Patrissimo had a fine post about his life and perspective about it, too.

I meant to link up a ton of LJ blogs here because I got lost in the serendipity of the web reading some great stuff over there. But I’m fading fast. Damn you, Guinness!

There was a raucous thread on RGP about blocking bets, pertaining to a specific hand that I won’t bore you with here. But I thought I’d share one posters definition of a blocking bet.

–
It is to slow down your opponent. If you would call a 60.00 bet, but not a 120.00 bet (for example), you can bet 60.00 and hope your opponent slows down and just calls your bet (or folds). This often works to slow people down, and can be used on any street. But it should only be used sparingly. If your opponents put you on a blocking bet, they will start raising you all the time, because a blocking bet hates raises.
–

Let’s get a few more solid linky links in before I pass out.

Here was a fun RGP thread, albeit completely over my head. Question and Answer:

Subject: Math question: 1+1=???

Please help me settle an argument with a friend. There’s money and pride
involved. He’s claiming there are certain mathematical instances where
1+1 would not equal 2. I insist that there’s no way it cannot be 2. I’m
not a math genius, so I’m looking for help. Thanks!

——-

Never take another guys prop bet. You’ll get cider in your ear.

Without thinking hard I can think of two.

One is if you allow division by zero. You can prove that 1+1=1 by allowing division by zero. In fact you can prove any nonsense you want by allowing division by zero, which is why we don’t allow it. Zero is special.

Also if you allow him to confuse math with the notation used to communicate math then 1+1 = 10 in base 2.

I’m sure there are others. They are all meaningless (except for division by zero, that’s an important one).
Gary Carson

Special insane Bonus 2+2 thread for those of you who read this far. I swear, I want to burn out my retina’s after reading this, but hey, that’s what I do. Apparently, the original poster of this thread is Edward Moncada, the 2005 WSOP Pot Limit Hold’em Champ. The veracity of this has not been confirmed.

Anyway, here it is:
Chantelle sucks (story involves sex with dogs and stuff, kinda)……

I almost forgot to mention that RGP went completely insane with atheist versus believers flame wars over the holidays. I’m guessing the spirit of Christmas is to blame.

But want to start a 150+ thread flame war? Easy, just post this:

Subject: ATHEISTS

Are drawing DEAD

Have a nice day!

My favorite post from today’s Grouphug?

I was in Huntsville a couple of days ago. I stopped in to use the phone at this place. Well the really Hot receptionist stepped out for a few minutes, and I took her purse. Now I know her name.

Geezus, did anyone else see where our boy, Lucko, got accused of being a cheater? Thankfully, it didn’t take long for the Idiot 2+2′rs to realize the errors of their ways.
multi accounter?

I think my tank is empty. Thanks for reading.

Now that the crazy month of December is over, expect to see much more posting here.

Allow me to leave you with perspective from a kid who went pro and decided to return to RGP and share his wisdom. Most respondents weren’t nice but I enjoy these kind of tales.

Hence, my posting BlackIce’s story for you:

—————-

Hello again and my story

Some of you may remember me from a year or two ago. I gradually moved most of my posting to 2+2 and after a while all but forgot RGP existed. This post is to let all know that I’m back and tell my story. I also plan to be active in the RGP community again. My story is found below. Cliff’s notes can be found in the second to last paragraph.

I went pro a little more than a year ago. I started in limit holdem but quickly got bored and moved to SNGs. At first I didn’t have the skills or the bankroll to succeed over the long term. I had to get a job after 3 months to avoid going busto. After a month of work I had a small bankroll again and started playing again in my spare time. I quickly built myself a decent roll and 4 or 5 months later I was laid off. I decided that I had greatly improved in skill and would give pro poker another shot.

I was somewhat successful to start. I learned to keep spending to a minimum in order to move up faster. I was living almost entirely off rakeback while profits went into building my roll. I was doing rather well for myself, making ends meet and starting to pay off old debts I incurred during a terrible bout with depression(which is another story entirely if there is interest I’d be happy to tell it). I took on a part time job one or two days a week at a golf course working out of the pro shop or caddying. This was primarily to get free golf at a fantastic course, but the extra money was nice too. The job also got me out of the house a couple days a week. This past summer I discovered a very important aspect of professional poker which I had neglected, emotional control.

I was playing middle buyin SNGs and making good money. I hit a downswing and tilted. I didn’t go busto nor did I have to take on extra work, but I wasn’t living as comfortably and had to cut back expenses again to rebuild my roll and increase my income. I never got back to where I was but was still making decent money.

Now fast forward to September. I’m running pretty bad, playing pretty well, and tilt is a relative non-issue. I splurged a good portion of my savings to buy a nice laptop to be able to play more tables in a better working environment than the TV room of my family home. Then came the 13th of October.

Party shut it’s doors and with it I lost rakeback. I moved my money to Poker Stars and began playing SNGs there. Unfortunately the SNG player pool was hardest hit. The disparity between great SNGers and good SNGers isn’t that great and the tables were beginning to be infested with marginally winning players. ROI’s dropped and swings increased. I hit a huge downswing and moved down. I started playing fewer tables and spent more time studying. I discovered that I was playing well and just getting unlucky. I took a few days off, studied a ton, and reviewed all my play. I was still playing well. With newfound vigor and confidence I went back to playing my usual number of tables KNOWING I’d be crushing the competition. I continued to lose. The downswing got to the point where I just didn’t want to play SNGs anymore. I decided it was time for a change.

I began playing low stakes NL at the 25 dollar tables to unlearn some things from SNGs and get comfortable with cash game play again. I did well and moved up to 50NL. I did okay from late October to late November but it was just enough to meet expenses and be entertained with. I then began breaking even and started to tilt again. I played with a semi-short roll for a bit longer and learned to control my tilt. With Christmas coming and having obligations to get gifts for family and friends I had to dip into my roll for the first time in months. I would have had to move down to 25nl or play 50nl a little shorter than I was comfortable with. My bankroll was down to about 750 dollars. I decided I would head to the easy money and increase my hours and tables to grind for a while. I was moving to $6.50 SNGs on Poker Stars.

I could have probably played 16s but lacked the confidence to do so considering the current state of the games and my previous downswing. Now I’ve been beating the 6.50’s at a decent clip despite running pretty awful. My big pairs just don’t seem to like to win showdowns. Now Christmas is passed and my bankroll hasn’t increased, but I met all my Christmas obligations and still have 3 months living expenses set aside. My plan is to grind up a roll and move back to 50nl and work my way up. I’ve got the skill to beat 50nl and adjust to at least 100nl. I’ve got the discipline to put in the hours and play well. And I’ve finally got the emotional control to put the pieces together and make real money until I go back to school next year.

So where does all this leave me? I’m 21 years old and set to get my life back on track with a little hard work and effort. I’ve learned the importance of emotional control as well as talent in poker. I’ve also come to the realization that poker works best when you can balance it with the rest of your life. The source of my tilt wasn’t bad beats or anything like that, it was lack of balance. I was neglecting friendships and losing closeness with some family members. I’ve since started dedicating more time to friends and family and am a lot happier. When I’m happier it’s a lot easier to play good poker. I’m happy now and set up to all but control my fate. Wish me luck!

Now I hope you managed to read through all that since I think it could be pretty interesting for a number of you and informative for some. But if you didn’t here is the summary.

I quit my job to play poker full time just over a year ago. I didn’t have what it took to make it talent wise. Took on a job and dedicated myself to learning the game. Played for fun then slipped back to pro playing a few months into this year. Had the talent to succeed and did until tilt overcame me. A lot of grinding later I’m looking at a fresh slate and a happier state.

Never underestimate the importance of emotional control in poker. Even one donked off SNG per hundred or cash buyin per 1000 hands can vastly affect your winrate. Don’t underestimate the importance of friends and family in your life. Keeping balance with poker and life is difficult but not impossible, but be prepared for the difficult juggling act should you go down this road. For most of you considering going pro, you would likely be better off playing part time combined with a part or full time job.

—————-

Again, thanks for reading.

Link of the Day:
Tucker’s Advice for the Web Celeb

Tucker Max’s advice to Jason (Link: NSFW) “hot kinky professional woman” Fortuny is handy for anyone who’d like to join the League of Internet Attention Whores:

The internet is not exactly like any other medium. You should never forget why people found out you in the first place — the sex emails. Highlight those, maybe do more of them. Don’t be one of those people who get attention for something, and then try to use it to do something unrelated. You are famous because of these emails, don’t forget that — right now its those, not you. Don’t get a big head.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 1st, 2007 at 11:12 pm and is filed under Uncategorized.