IGGY at PokerWorks

“All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.”
Lady Macbeth

I’m not going to lie or sugarcoat things. For us folks in the USA, our beloved game of poker is on a death watch hurting. OK, maybe that’s bit heavy but I’m seeing the government succeed at cutting off funding options and I doubt they are going to stop anytime soon. The fact that I have a healthy chunk of change frozen on Neteller isn’t helping my attitude.

OK, it’s actually causing massive angst. Soul crushing angst.
So ignore me. I’m bitter.
That’s why it’s been so difficult for me to get on here and uber it up.

I have a friend, who gagged at lunch after hearing how much money I am going to lose to Neteller and then helpfully offered, “You should take that frozen Neteller money and convert it to Linden dollars.”

I hate Web 2.0.
But it’s time for me to suck it up - I’ve got Workplace Productivity to Destroy, damnit.

Let’s pick some low-hanging fruit, shall we? Ramp things up as we go.

Overheard at Neteller Support –

Neteller Rep 1: Man, we are all getting laid off!
Neteller Rep 2: I know, we are all out of a job soon.
Neteller Rep 1: Look at this, another one of those “How do I get my money” emails.
Neteller Rep 2: Hey, tell him to do a peer-to-peer transfer!
Neteller Rep 1: Good one! hahahahahahaha
Neteller Rep 2: hahahahahahahahahahahaha

There’s been some excellent blogging around the blogosphere lately. I really need to dedicate an entire post to just that. It’s on my to-do list, have no fear.

But for now, you gotta go check out Haley’s superb poker journalism work. She’s on part 4 right now so make sure you go back and read it all. A must read, per the WSOP.com domain name.
Anatomy of a Cybersquatter

Yeah, Mr. Rini has been harshing my buzz in a huge way over this legislation mess and now the attack on funding. But let’s face it, Bill’s been around a long time and also works in the front lines of the industry so it’s fair to say he’s 99% more informed than the rest of us.
Top 10 Myths About the UIGEA

I’d rather be educated than blowing rainbows out my ass.

And one last pimp, even though I can’t imagine anyone missed Otis. And good God, if you did please leave this drivel immediately and read the best, instead:
The Last Poker Game

Weird little side note about Daniel Negreanu and UFC announcer/FearFactor host, Joe Rogan getting into a nice little public spat and then making all nicey nice. Fun!
Daniel went after Joe first at FCP:
Opie and Anthony… again

Well, Joe couldn’t let this stand so he blasted Daniel at his blog:
Daniel Negreanu, you whiney little bitch. Actually, Joe went fairly high-road in his post, claiming no hard feelings even though he offered to hold Daniel down and slap him in the face with his cock.

The actual audio of the interview is here.

Because I help with a little UFC blog, I found it hilarious to see this nastiness spill over into a UFC forum, after Joe posted there: Daniel Negreanu is a bitch. It’s funny to compare UFC forums with poker forums, lemme tell you.

Danny finally came to his senses and apologized: Joe Rogan Revisited

Such silliness.

I don’t know why I haven’t posted this damn link before. This guy is the degenerate of the year, hands down. Degeneracy good?

Possibly the best poker support email ever:

Hi Jonathan -

I see from your account record that in the last 6-7 months, we’ve twice, at your request, removed your access to the $200-400 limit hold’em and $75-150 Omaha-8 games. Both times you’ve asked to have us reinstate it (and we did).

As we mentioned in our previous email, the games you’re requesting are going to have enormous swings - five times what you’ve experienced in the $200-400 game.

Now, our job here is to deal a poker game, not be your nanny. But please confirm for me that you can tolerate the swings involved before I put you into those biggest games.

Thank you for your understanding.

Best regards,
Lee Jones
PokerStars Poker Room Manager

BattleStar Galactica Poll:
Why is Baltar so good at poker?

a) He’s good at calculating odds
b) Six peeks at everyone’s hands for him
c) He’s so twitchy that everything he does looks like a tell
d) God really does love him

In a nod to Dawn, here’s an interesting post and response from RGP.

–

I love the political discussions on Late Night Poker

Doyle has bet Hellmuth that if Hillary runs she wins ($10K). They all liked Obabma but then someone said he was an athiest and his name sounds too much like Osama. Harman said she really liked him, but if he was an athiest, she wouldn’t vote for him. Doyle suggested electing the senator from Tennesee, and then said he couldn’t get elected dog catcher. I love hearing this table talk between the players. Am srarting to really like this show.

=——–

I like the general tone of all this, but Obama isn’t an atheist. He’s a Christian. I would vote for an atheist pretty much for that reason alone. Anyone with the balls to stand up and say they’re an atheist while running for office has the guts necessary to do whatever needs to be done. And is, of course, completely unelectable.

There are atheists in office, but they are liars who claim to be Christians. That is the nature of our political system. It favors lying fucks over people who tell the truth, cowardly phonies over heroes, and almost bars anyone who actually deserves the office. We should have to hunt down worthy people and draft them at gunpoint to serve, given the kind of person who actually wants to be President.

However, I honestly think Americans would elect a black President, but not Obama. Partly because his name sounds too much like Osama. And then his middle name is Hussein. Just a horribly unfortunate name. But also he just lacks gravitas. Even if he didn’t though, what a horrible running for President name. It is practically Iraq Hussein Osama.

You say Osama, I say Obama, let’s call the whole thing off.

—–

Here’s a strange thread about John Juanda and Todd Brunson having some nasty chat on Full Tilt.

Todd Brunson’s last post on 2+2 (march ‘06): Todd Brunson busting on Ivey

Oh yeah, the February issue of the 2+2 Internet Magazine is out.

This is an interesting video I came across. Doyle is hosting a talk show interviewing Crandell Arrington and Jack Binion.

I love me some old-school RGP flamewars. Get out your asbestos undies here. The religious - atheists are still going at it post-holidays. Thought this shit was gonna die. I was wrong.

The first three posts here were the first three posts in the thread, of which there was tons. Imagine how good it got after reading these:

The Last Supper

I have not lost on any day since i put a tapestry of the last supper on the wall in front of me when i play.

I found this tapestry in the apartment above the man who i said would ruin our 225 unit apt building. This man lit 2 fires and virtually incinerated everything in the apt above his.

The tapestry is synthetic and should have melted but is damage free.

Amen

———————-

-

> The tapestry is synthetic and should have melted but is damage free.

It appears that you are inferring that a supernatural force saved the tapestry from the fire.

If that is the case, why didn’t this supernatural force just prevent the fire in the first place?

You might also wonder why this same force - that according to you can change the laws of nature - would miraculously save a tapestry and allow people to be tragically killed.

For instance, on Sunday 1/7/07, Senior Airman Elizabeth A. Loncki of New Castle, Delaware was murdered by a car bomb while serving in Baghdad, Iraq.

She was 23.

But I guess her life just wasn’t as important to your supernatual being as a fucking tapestry. Why don’t you send your “magic tapestry” to Iraq where a soldier could drape it over his or herself as a protection from harm?

You also seem to imply your invisible friend has been using his influence to give you favorable cards because you hung this thing. This attention to your poker game apparently distracted your invisible friend so much that he just didn’t have time to save Elizabeth’s body from being devastated by a car bomb.

River cards and tapestries though, he’s right on it.

Anyone with any sense at all is well aware that there is no supernatural force or invisible being that saved the tapestry, assisted your card game, or allowed Elizabeth to be killed.

Amen.

-

+ art_classmn wrote:
+ Anyone with any sense at all is well aware that there is no
+ supernatural force or invisible being that saved the tapestry, assisted
+ your card game, or allowed Elizabeth to be killed.

Only ubermensch whose superior brains supernaturally comprehend the bounds of the universe know that.

What has gotten into atheists? There was a time when they could be witty; now days they’ve become hackneyed prosletizers for a null religion with no philosophical
heft.

–

What has gotten into people who claim that virgins have babies that are gods in part of a “mysterious” holy trinity?

–

Whew. Let’s move the hell along, shall we?

I liked the answer to this next question because it’s pretty much exactly what I woulda said, too.

> I played at Bodog for the first time last night.
> As my experience with Bodog is limited, I was wondering what impressions
> others had of the site.

The site sucks. The software sucks, there are bugs in it that prevent you from playing at times, it’s slow, horrible, no game selection, bad customer service, and well, it sucks.

That said, please stay clear of my tables as it’s the main site I play on.

As I’ve stated many times, good poker players simply ABHOR bad software.

I only loved this thread because of the mean people answering this kid. Not really. But whenever I’m blue I’m going to read this thread.

Yikes.

Variance: My life (super tldr, cliffs notes, ask me anything, zzzbore)

It’s hard to pick just one response in that thread. Guess I have to go for the most obtuse.

‘The mass M of a caterpillar, measured in milligrams, is

- 1/6t^3 + 9/4t^2 + 5t + 10

Where t is the time since hatching, measured in days. After n days, the caterpillar reaches its maximum mass, stops eating and pupates.

Q) Find the value of n and the caterpillars maximum mass to the nearest milligram.

Q) Find the caterpillars maximum growth rate, in mg per day correct to the nearest mg, and when it occurs.

Been sitting on this 20 page thread on 2+2 from last month.

Ivey vs. Corey Pavin golf bet

Discussed on the 2nd episode of Poker After Dark by Hellmuth, Sheiky, and Huck.

The bet: $10k per hole.

The rules: Ivey plays at TPC Summerlin (Vegas course that he frequents) from the reds … forward-most tees…or ladies’ if you’re non-pc . Corey plays from the tips, or black tees. I thought I caught that Corey would play a different course, but not sure about that.

Anyhoo, Ivey scrambles with himself, meaning he gets to hit each shot 2-3 times (not sure how many) and take the best ball. Pavin plays straight up.

From the discussion, Hellmuth implied that Ivey was worse than a 15-handicap.

For what it’s worth, Sheiky and Hellmuth said they’d bet Pavin. Huck said they were out of their minds.

Who’s your $$ on assuming Ivey is a 15-handicap? How about 10 or 20 handicap?

P.S. Most of us have seen footage of Ivey playing golf. He’s improved big time from 3 years ago at the American Poker Championship, but still ain’t pretty.

P.S. Negreanu says he’s the best putter he’s ever seen (from his forum).

Saw this telling comment in PeterBirk’s fine blog by countingmyouts. Yoinkers.

Reports are that Neteller is negotiating a settlement with the U.S. DOJ and that settlement will include Neteller will turn over all records to the IRS, ostensibly so that the IRS can go after poker players.

Additionally, it appears that all current Neteller balances could be frozen for an indefinite period of time. The FBI is on record as saying that they would like them held as evidence in court.

Are you screwed? I’d speculate in the short-term you are since you have a U.S. account. Long-term, I would say you will get your money. However, with this witch hunt, I can’t say that with any confidence.

At the rate this is spiraling out of control, I believe that there are going to be a lot of U.S. online poker players getting hammered by the IRS with big fines and possibly jail time. There are those that have made hundreds of thousands of dollars and never paid a cent in taxes. If I were those folks, I would be extremely concerned given the voracity of US DOJ’s attack.

A sad end, indeed.

Good gravy, folks Ripped this show on rgp. I tried to watch it once but got bored very quickly.

Poker after Dark, Did that ever suck or what!!!

Did you ever play poker and have 10 people yap in your ear at the same time. You can’t even follow the action. The whole screen is cluttered. The premise is stupid. It ’s like somebody said let’s steal the idea of High Stakes Poker and take the worst parts and turn it into a show.

You have two faceless commentators making comments after every fold or call. Six players talking non-stop while the action is going on. They are forced to check, call, raise or fold within a matter of seconds. The money for buy-ins are probably put by NBC. Nobody cares. Unlike High Stakes Poker where when someone gets beat out of $200,000 they care. Poker Dome, six players enter and no one leaves. Thank God, for that.

Also, a follow up to the Hellmuth blowup on the show a while back.

—–

Phil Hellmuth addresses his behaviour on Poker After Dark

Phil admits to being out of line, but he does a lot to hedge…
http://philhellmuth.com/articles.html?id=122

I have to say, it reminds me of a few years ago when Sam Grizzle and Phil were at the same table at the WSOP, and it took Phil to make Sam look good. Phil made Sheiky look… well… not bad.

If you’re not sure what he’s talking about, feel free to quickly watch my prior post,
Phil Hellmuth is Batshit Crazy.

How else can I end this commentary but with the last word from Gary Carson.

It’s a reality TV show. The producers want conflict, they want people talking. The on-screen talent doesn’t have a right to anything except to follow the script and get a donut at the break.

Phil needs to quit pretending he doesn’t know the difference between a televised poker game and reality TV. This show is not a televised poker game, it’s reality TV built around poker.

Wow, I read about some rake craziness in Aussie poker (on RGP so who knows about the veracity.) Pauly? Any experiences like this?

Brisbane Poker - Incredible Rake

Hi, I’m wondering if anyone can help me with this:

I’ve just moved to Brisbane, Australia. I used to play live games a bit in the US, so I went to casino here to check out the tables. They had 5/10 “fee” games, where you have to start, and then 5/10 and 10/20 “commision” games you could put your name down for when you sat down.

They have two rake structures. One, the fee game, requires each player to pay a “participation fee” of one dollar every hand, so that’s an automatic rake of ten dollars a hand, no matter how small the pot, even if everybody folds.

You have to start there, but you can get on the waiting list for the table that has a “commission”, which is a 5% rake but, it’s up to 10 or 20 dollars per pot.

That dollar-a-hand rake just seems like it would be very difficult to beat. I looked around the table and the players seemed good enough, though it was a bit early and maybe not fired up yet. I just can’t see, with the table loosing 10 dollars each hand, how there’s much left for the players to toss around.

Anyone have any opinions on this? Would you consider this a beatable rake? Would you even bother sitting down at one of those tables unless at least half of it was staggering drunk?

Whew, I guess that’s all I’ve got tonite. Lord knows I owe ya’ll some ubers but I get to bed alot earlier these days. My how times have changed.

Hell, I don’t even know if anyone reads me anymore. If you do, thanks for stopping by and I hope I killed some time for ya. I’ve a bunch more in the pipeline, I just need to get back on the horse and ride.

Here’s to hoping Stars and Full Tilt fight the good fight.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 5th, 2007 at 11:34 pm and is filed under Uncategorized.