It’s bittersweet. We were fully expecting this to be a long-term play but between the UIGEA & Google issues, it simply ended up being a case of bad timing.

End of story.

So I must thank Linda, my blogmother, for the opportunity to come here and write. It was an honour and I’m lucky to have her as a colleague and friend. I’m also bummed to be leaving all the heavyweight bloggers collected here under the PW umbrella. Lord knows I’ll be coming here to read them.

But for now, I’m heading back to the familiar confines of Guinness and Poker.

Brown set to lure web gaming in from cold

I really enjoyed reading this thread how long before PS UB and FT drop?

Some excellent discourse as basically Mr. Rini took on all comers in a surprisingly high road discussion on a brutal topic.
It was great to see BluffThis, Oliver Tse and even the mighty Russ Fox contributing. Score one for the grown-ups. Worthy time spent if you wanna read the glass half-full versus glass half-empty.

Also, what’s up with Party’s stock popping today? Manipulation? Rumours & lies? Daytraders? Impending good news (hah)? White noise? None of the above?

Security tips for avoiding account hackers by Lee Jones.

Oh yeah, Dutch’s site only went down for a few days. He’s back.
Dutch Boyd Calling out Daniel Negreanu
Daniel Negraunu is my bitch

And on that note, Daniel Negreanu has a rare post up at 2+2 entitled: Daniel N. couldn’t beat a $1-$2 game!

I’m pretty sure he’s just responding to the insane Haters from this awful thread:
Daniel N. lacks pure poker skills?

K, I’m off to play.

But I found this fascinating thread about the status of online poker in Asia. A must read for those wanting to educate themselves about the future of our beloved game.

Online Poker In Asia: What’s It’s Status

Well put, Sir.
When will the madness end?

I’m not even encouraged by the rumors and apparent impending announcement of former New York Senator Alfonse D’Amato to run the PPA lobbying efforts. Hell, it’s a step in the right direction but I’m too cynical to think anything is gonna change for quite awhile.

Just in case you missed it, Mason Malmuth of 2+2 tyranny had an epic post on the PPA and it’s lack of transparency. Go read it, damnit.

Two Plus Two Statement on the PPA

I guess I should quote my hero, Gary Carson, about this matter.

The PPA is a fraud. Why do they make the argument that poker is illegal?

Why not approach the issue from the point of view of getting friends on our side instead of the idea of seperating ourselfs from those who can help us?

They take the position that online gambling of any kind is illegal and that the US has the jurisdiction to enforce it’s laws anywhere in the world and has the authority to regulate the internet world wide.

How about gaining some friends and taking the position online gambling isn’t illegal and the US does not have world wide jurisdiction nor the authority to tell the rest of the world how to use the internet?

Just think about how many people would be on our side if we took that position.

But PPA not only won’t take that positoin, they won’t say why they think it’s the wrong position.

Come on, they have a board of directors with people who used to tout land frauds in Costa Rica.

Gary’s always been about accentuating the positive, God bless him.

Continuing the political theme this evening, I found this fine post from RGP pertaining to the idiocy that is Bill Frist.

Subject: Former Senator Bill Frist’s New Website

I’m a frequent lurker, but rare poster, but I found Senator Bill Frist’s newest online venture. I thought the RGPers would love to take a look. As a former constituent of this remarkable idiot that is helping to destroy our online game, I thought I’d pass along the new website that the former Senator has just opened up.

It’s called “Your Ideas America” where everyday Americans can voice their own crazy ideas about how to improve our country. Of course, it seems that these ideas may be filtered through some type of internal review prior to getting published on the site.

Here’s an idea for you, Dr. Ex-Senator Frist, get the hell out of our business. Let Americans exercise that freedom that we’re supposed to have. Online Poker is a career for some people now, who you’ve turned into criminals or the unemployed.

Back off of the entrepreneurial poker site owners who are putting people to work, and demonstrating what would be “the American Dream.” If you didn’t interfere based on some idiotic morality based justification, you could bring these offshore companies to the USA. Not only could poker players play in a safe, legally protected environment, you could put Americans to work for these companies.

But no. This would make far too much sense to anyone in the public who’s not completely mind-numbed by ideology or ignorance. It’s pretty stinking obvious that Americans love to play poker. We love to gamble, and we’ll do so whether you kill our online access or not. In a nation built on a group of ambitious gamblers that though self-governance in a republic based on protection of individual liberty would work, surely you can see the logic of this.

Give us back our game.

I still suffer from an internal cringe every time I hear Frist’s name. Damnit, we shoulda google-bombed his ass.

Everyone knows Barack Obama is a poker player by now. I thought I’d link up a four-parter about him from Canada.com.
Holding his cards close
Barack Obama is the perfect political poker player: patient, humble and willing to take a risk

I really have to agree with Omaha Chris in this next post. What the hell.

What the hell has gotten into the feds?

The Frist thing was a political stunt (or at least it seemed that way at the time), but this is seriously getting intense.

I can’t remember the last time I saw the feds working this hard at stamping out ANYTHING. They are really pushing this anti-online gambling thing hard. Why so suddenly and vigorously?

These sites have been around for almost a decade. Then bam, within the last six months they’ve turned into the gestapo.

I don’t get it. What did I miss?

Got me.

Now let’s move the fuck along, shall we.

Great moments in understatement from Poker After Dark:

Shana asks Doyle what’s the difference between Ivey and Matusow.
“Phil’s a more stable player”

Here’s an awesome online chat from Mike Matasow, a Full Tilt pro, for Gods sakes.

Mike Matusow: that does require skill
Mike Matusow: online poker is so fake that its funny
Dealer: MSampoerna wins the pot ($397)
Dealer: Hand #1809600279
MSampoerna: huh? who you talking to?
Mike Matusow: i play anyone inpoker live poker any stake anytime
Mike Matusow: this is stupid
Dealer: MSampoerna wins the pot ($122)
Dealer: Hand #1809605046
Mike Matusow: u think cards just role on ioff likehere inlive game

Geepers, is there any other business in the world where you can impune the integrity of your product and still keep your job as a sponsor? Only in poker, my friends, only in poker.

I don’t usually post unsubstantiated forum rumors from new posters but I think this one is pretty solid. Personally, I don’t know why folks are surprised by this news, I guess I just assumed this would be the case this year at the WSOP.

Harrah’s decides ZERO ads allowed from .net sites for the WSOP…

Harrah’s board decided yesterday that no poker sites accepting US players would be allowed to advertise at the WSOP.

Meaning no .net, no nothing from Pokerstars, Fulltilt, etc.

Foreign sites not allowing US players will be allowed to advertise.

Fulltilt had bought the rights to the felt……guess that won’t be happening.

GG US poker sites.

Hit the whole thread for the skinny.

I’m so sick of this crap. Tis funny, I actually had a great strategy discussion with my boy GMoney over the weekend - he encouraged me to write about it but everytime I sit down at the puter to uber it up, this legislation insanity completely takes over. Can I dream the impossible dream and think about someday in the future when I can write about the actual play of poker again?

Good God, prohibition lasted over 12 years.

Don’t even get me started on Neteller.

And with that, I must let ya’ll go for the evening. I have some online poker to play.

Have I mentioned that I hate the timesink that is You-Tube? Geepers, I’ve spent way too much time there over the last few months. It’s becoming a problem.

But Maudie sent me this priceless video of a kitty playing the damn piano.

Per http://www.pokersitescout.com/, it’s amusing to see Party back at the #2 spot. Dear Lord, how I miss it. And yes, I know it would be easy to circumvent things and get a new account there, but really, I’m not that desperate. I’ve gots plenty of games at PokerStars and FullTilt.

And I’m ready to start hitting the tables again after a nice break. Truth be told, if not for the Neteller hijack - I’d be feeling pretty good about things. I doubt Stars and Tilt are gonna go anywhere soon, so hell, for the most part it’s business as usual.

Tis also interesting to see UB & BoDog’s numbers on the PokerSiteScout page. I’m gonna fire up my UB account over the weekend - it’s been far too long. If I have any issues funding it, I’ll report back.

Damn, I was just reminded that CC’s Bash is starting in a bit so I gotta cut this short.

Anyway, allow me to share my fave poker post of the day. For all I know, this is all false and a stupid AOL chain email, but I still had a chuckle.
–

Ever wonder why it’s so easy to make $ at poker?

Take a look at the kind of people that populate your local poker rooms:

MICHIGAN - In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

CALIFORNIA - A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who “totally zoned when he ran,” — accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

NORTH CAROLINA - Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed,
burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

CALIFORNIA - Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

DELAWARE - Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

HONORABLE MENTION - NEW JERSEY Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP - WASHINGTON TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM.
Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman’s cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham’s leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. “All I can say” said Bingham, “is that God was watching out for me on that night. There’s just no other explanation for it.” Bingham’s foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER FROM G-E-R-M-A-N-Y is : Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. “The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him” said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern, “With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated.

—–

I’ve been sick of reading about the PPA for quite awhile now. I’m not sure why they are even relevant anymore. Have they done ANYTHING? In my mind, they lost this battle a long time ago and the idea of a grassroots effort to get online gambling back is absurd.

And while I rarely, if ever, concur with anything cranky Arlo Payne says on RGP, I’m gonna share his PPA rant here. Enjoy.

From almost day one I have stated the PPA appears to be nothing more than a new group of carpetbaggers trying to make money off the issues at hand.

Within a very small time frame it also appeared the PPA was at best over their head if they really did plan on dealing with the goverment with reference to the online poker issue.

It also appeared they were more concerned with getting people to send them money under the cover of them being the answer to the problem at hand. But they really did not address the full method by which they would attack the problem beyond top level fluff.

Many things they wrote appeared to be at best half truths leaving out some key data and facts with references to those facts.

I also found it funny and strange they were asking for money from the players instead of being funded by the sites for 100% of their needs. Of course they should of asked players to sign up as support of their efforts but to ask for funds from the player base was a huge red flag.

To date I have not read or heard of one thing the PPA has done as far as actions and interactions with the goverment.

One would expect any group that says they are attacking the problem would publish a weekly or at least monthly undate with clear and exact details of what they have done during that time period. It has no meaning or support to the cause to have a group talk in general terms
without sharing more direct information of their actions.

Sending out hats and T-shirts appears to do nothing more than give a false sense that action is taking place but to me it only sends up another red flag all is not well on the front. Sending oout shirts etc would be well and fine if they also published exact facts and details of what they have done so far. As an example stating you have met with people in DC sounds all good up front but the fact is those people could just be someones high school buddy that now sells used cars. To me the hats T-shirts etc is nothing more than a smoke screen
for lack of true effective action and a tool to get more money sent in.

A key missing piece of information is just where has the money collected to date gone and what results has that money purchased.

Still for me the key is my feeling that even if the PPA has good intentions they lack the skills required to address the issue in a manner that will get good results. In my heart I feel the PPA is really doing more harm than good. Hell from what I read I really don’t think they have done any good or if they have really done anything at all besides raise money which would only be good for those getting the money.

Now of course the above is only my opinion based on what I have read or in many cases what I have not read due to a lack of clear information I have seen from the PPA. Over the years I have learned to not trust anyone that wants money but does not suppy me with a clear
plan as to where and who the money is going and what exactly the money will be used for. Just saying the money is going to be used to attack a problem is not good enough for me. I want to know the attack plan.

—-

Man, when is this losing streak gonna end? And I’m talking about poker in general, of course, not necessarily just at the tables. I actually want to apologize for my lack of posting lately, but good God, I’m beaten down.

And I’m not falling for the oldest blogging trick in the world - blogging about how damn depressed I am. But I’m also not comfortable coming on here and ripping out ubers and pretending everything is ok when clearly it’s a potential poker apocalypse right now.

My poker reading isn’t helping. Trying to get thru all the nimrods and fucktards polluting poker forums and newsgroups is a daunting task, even in the best of times, not to mention these surreal days.

And then today, fuck me sideways. If I read one more forum thread about Doyle getting arrested I was going to puke. But rather than work myself into a lather about this, go read a much more adult perspective at UpforPoker.

Neteller hijack aside, I probably am far better off than a lot of people. I wonder how many kids out there are flipping out because they didn’t pay taxes on their winnings. Prolly a bunch. There’s been a ton of smarmy posters over the past few years writing about how they are impervious to Uncle Sam thanks to the Neteller debit card, dubious means, and most of all, sheer ignorance.

But now the worm has turned.

And because all the books are laid bare, with the DOJ and IRS perusing bank records, it seems all the more likely that the Fix Was In from the very beginning. This wasn’t a perfect storm of events or a cosmic fluke conspiring against poker. This was a well executed blitzkrieg.

And now we wait, just like we’ve been doing since September. Waiting and watching.

Oh yes, poker shall return. But I fear the Golden Goose has been killed. At best, it’s been maimed.

From my vantage point of 3.5 years of poker blogging, it almost feels like the poker juggernaut that became a cultural explosion was a fluke. A fad.

Poker is the new pet rock.

OK, I’m not really buying into that last part. Yet.

I guess I should slow down here. I’m getting dangerously close to rant territory and we don’t want that, do we? But hell, it’s a Monday and it’s cold as hell and snow is coming and I ain’t seen the sun in six days and people are posting that Doyle Brunson got arrested and my fucking money is still locked up at Neteller.

Weeeeeeeeeeee.

For my part, I’m still playing. I still love the game too much to give in. But that’s me - your mileage may vary. I would hope that most USA players won’t capitulate, tho.

And I’m gonna keep blogging my ass off.

So I’m gonna keep getting Guinness-fueled here & give you some fine snippets from the interweb. Because that’s what I do, damnit.

This sums up what many people are thinking. Sadly.

Attn: Poker “Pros”

Any brilliant youngsters out there who gave up on school n’ shit to play a card game currently living off mommy and daddy’s dimes? COME ON - regale me with your foresight and wisdom!

He got no takers.

Some of the older posters, including one of my favorites still left at RGP, Howard Beale, let loose with some crotchety perspective on the golden age of poker and what has passed us by. For one, Howard is happy it’s all over.

What ‘Poker Boom’? A rant.

This is something I’ve wanted to get off my chest for a while now. I see many people refer to the ‘Poker Boom’ and wonder what ‘Poker Boom’ are they talking about and what good whatever it is has really done for poker?

I first started playing poker in casinos when the Taj Mahal and Resorts International opened their rooms in AC. That led me to the underground clubs in NYC, circa 1992 IIRC. In those days the poker rooms were filled up with players. When I moved out to Arizona, Fort McDowell and then Gila River and later Casino Arizona were filled up with players. There was never a shortage of players or games. When I visited California all the poker rooms there were packed with players and games.

Then along came the online rooms and, especially, the WPT on the TEE-VEE and the next thing I know there is a ‘Poker Boom’. But what is it really? From what I can see all it’s done is increase the size of tournaments and give birth to a bastardized form of NL. The most populated games of NL are $1/$2 blind games mostly with buy-ins of $200 or $100 or even (so I’ve read at some LA rooms) of $40! A ‘NL’ game w/ a buy-in of $40! What the heck is that?

The poker rooms are still filled up (just as they always were) but now there are a horde of people who want to play NL like they see on the TEE-VEE but it’s not really what they see on television. What they see on television are huge field tourneys that cost a half-million/yr to play that have a huge luck factor and that have long term winners that you can count on one hand. I think that that is really what the ‘poker boom’ is. Sure, there are more rooms opening up in LV but most of them are low-limit rooms and are under populated. The parts of the country that became legal for gambling in the past few years would likely have had poker rooms anyway. To some extent those new tourney players and online players spill over into b&m cash games but I don’t think they matter much.

The poker rooms were filled up anyway and the game was always attracting new players. I was not concerned with the future of poker. I’ll bet that players like TJ and Amir Vahedi (whose names you used to see winning regularly) wish there had never been a poker boom.

Meanwhile, the cash game limit player’s games have been hurt. At Casino Arizona there used to be 3 15-30 stud games/day every day. Those have been gone ever since the poker boom because it’s not the game played on television. Nowadays it HE or nothing all the time, almost everywhere. CAZ has 6 games of 5-150 going because it’s the closest thing to what is played on television. I don’t bother learning it because it’s of limited value. Even if I become expert it’s hardly spread anywhere else so I can’t ‘take it on the road’. In that sense it’s not worth the time to
learn.

So to heck with the ‘poker boom’. I wish it had never shown up, such as it is.

End of rant.

Howard Beale

How many ways do I disagree with thee? Let me count the ways. Oh, never mind.

Tis funny to go back a little bit and read Oliver Tse’s perspectives on the WSOP Main Event this year. Good God, he’s a smart man but I hope he didn’t wager any cold hard cash on his opinions here from a few months ago. He claims we will see little to no difference, but to be fair, he wrote this before Harrah’s said they wouldn’t accept online qualifiers: Per the amount of entries in 2007

9000+ players. Online poker has exploded in Germany and France, and is about to explode in Italy and Spain in 2007. East Asia will be on deck for 2008.

Harrah’s would be incredibly stupid to keep the WSOP in Las Vegas now that it will have operational control of several casinos in the UK via its acquisition of London Clubs International.

It makes much more business sense for Harrah’s to hold the 2007 WSOP in London than in Las Vegas.

Every one of you who predict that WSOP attendance will drop is a myopic U.S. based poker player who has little to no understanding of the entertainment industry on a global scale.

9000 players, my ass. Even my beloved heroes are letting me down with their myopic views.

It’s only a few weeks old, but I’m still sad I never blogged about David Sklansky’s affair with a 16 year old girl. After he confessed on 2+2, the lucky lady actually appeared on the forum to answer any and all questions about the love story. Huge awesome thread.
David’s former 16 yr old answers all

It’s actually a pretty funny thread. Go kill some time - you won’t regret it and you’ll learn more about Mr. Sklansky than you ever wanted. And WAY too much info about her - geezus.

I enjoyed this Full Tilt chat with Mr. Matasow:
Matusow and Dirksen talk financial plans

Mike Matusow: 28003rd re rs with q 10
Dealer: Mike Matusow wins the pot ($100)
Mike Matusow: u are broke u just dont know it yet
Dustin Dirksen: well no
Dealer: Dustin Dirksen wins the pot ($100)
Dustin Dirksen: cuz when i run good i invest
Mike Matusow: trust me u are broke
Dustin Dirksen: so even if i suck
Dustin Dirksen: i have half mil put away
Dealer: Mike Matusow wins the pot ($100)
Dustin Dirksen: maybe that broke to u
Mike Matusow: like i said u broke
Dustin Dirksen: not to me
Dealer: Mike Matusow wins the pot ($200)
Mike Matusow: i had 4million
Mike Matusow: 500k isnt @@@%
Mike Matusow: ilose that a week
Dustin Dirksen: its in real estate cant lose it to poker

-later-

Mike Matusow: dustin i need some money send me some
Dustin Dirksen: can u pay me in chips or cash
Mike Matusow: u read that
Dustin Dirksen: ya
Mike Matusow: y if i lose if not ill send back
Dustin Dirksen: ok
Dustin Dirksen: how much u want
Mike Matusow: 10
Mike Matusow: mayabe 20 but ten for now
Dustin Dirksen: 10 on the way
Mike Matusow: ihavnt won apot in either game in 2hrs
Dealer: Mike Matusow wins the pot ($199.50)

–

My favorite 2+2 thread of the day? Outside of the statutory rape thread per Sklansky?
Reply limit to threads

Damn, I wish poker blogs had as much juice as food blogs.
The Power of Food Blogging

Fuck it. Reading cranky Arlo Payne’s RGP post is making me want to go play some poker so that’s what I’m gonna do. Fight the power.

Face it

It is all but over.
Without the USA funding the sites will be headed towards toes up.

The diehards will hang in there until they are busted. No new money for the rake. Games will turn into a rock mine. Some will get burnt. TV poker will start to die off due to lack of ads. Dirty carpetbaggers will appear out of the blue offering new funding options for the really sick ones. WSOP numbers will be down.

Divorce rates will go up once the couples start spending time together. Burger King will lower its wages due to the pile of college drop-outs that are looking for work. Six people will be arrested during the WSOP this year.

Despite my negativity above, I think we’ll have legal poker here sooner than I originally thought. And don’t nitpick and tell me that playing poker is still legal here.

Damn, how did I go to a glass half-full optimist? Oh wait. Guinness.

So let’s leave on a positive note, shall we? Hell, I fell in love with poker far before I ever played it on a computer.

Subject: Who cares about online poker?

I’ve been in Las Vegas for 3 months now and will stay another 3 or 4 until it starts to get too hot. Then I will head to Southern California or the Pacific Northwest to dodge the heat. I play no-limit hold’em every day in luxurious surrounding against interesting people, who in many cases are just learning poker.

I haven’t played online since I got here and seriously doubt if I will play on the computer again. What kind of dork sits at home staring at his computer screen when he can enjoy a friendly game with interesting people while being served free drinks by (usually) attractive waitresses. I get enough comps to have a nice dinner on the
casino every other day.

Wynn, Venetian, Caesars, and Red Rock are my favorite rooms so far, but nearly every casino has a nice poker room with at least a couple of no limit games. If you play $25-$50 no-limit - $30/$60 limit or higher the Bellagio has the biggest action but it is a crowded, noisy, and unpleasant place to play and they definitely have an attitude.

A $3/$5 or $5/$10 no limit game is a good size for me and so I am averaging more money than I made playing multiple games online. It’s better to see and hear your opponents.

I suggest people quit crying about the new laws and start playing real poker in real games.

Cheers!

—

Hi folks –

Our customer service rep was a bit confused. We are definitely running satellites to the WSOP for all our customers, [1] and we plan to get them started before the end of this month.

Start hoarding your W$, the season is about to open.

Best regards,
Lee Jones

PokerStars Poker Room Manager

[1] “What’s a WSOP without PokerStars satellites?”

Read the press release from this morning.

Best early analysis I’ve seen so far is from Ed Miller:
Neteller Rolls Over
—

NETELLER Works to Return Funds to US Customers After US Withdrawal

8 February 2007 - NETELLER Plc (LSE: NLR), the leading global independent online money transfer business, today issued the following update with regard to its US business and criminal charges against two of its founders.

On 19 January 2007, at the request of the Group, the Group’s legal advisers met with representatives of the United States Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York (“USAO”) to clarify the Group’s position with respect to the complaints brought on 16 January 2007 against two of the Group’s founders, Mr. Stephen Lawrence and Mr. John Lefebvre. Neither are current employees or directors of NETELLER. In that meeting, the Group pledged to cooperate with the USAO, indicated it was prepared to begin document production promptly and discussed a potential mechanism for arranging an orderly repayment of funds to US customers.

The discussions between the Group’s legal advisers and the USAO are ongoing. The Group is, under advice of its legal advisers, commencing production of documents and intends to cooperate with the USAO in its investigation.

Following upon the complaints dated 16 January 2007, banks in the US began declining to permit transactions involving the Group through accounts maintained at one or more automated clearinghouses in the United States. Additionally, the Group has been advised that the USAO has obtained court-ordered seizure warrants seizing funds pertaining to the Group’s transactions. To the best of the Group’s knowledge, it believes that the amount of funds seized by the USAO or otherwise restricted by third parties does not exceed US$ 55 million. These funds were largely in the process of being transferred from the Group to its US customers or vice versa.

As a result of the restrictions placed by third parties, court-ordered seizures, and related legal concerns, the Group is currently unable to make payments to US customers. Nevertheless, the Group is in discussions with the USAO to manage an orderly return of funds to US customers. As part of these discussions, it is contemplated that the USAO will engage a forensic accounting firm, at the Group’s expense, to assist in this process and to examine the Group’s financial position. “The return of funds to our US customers is a top priority for NETELLER” said Ron Martin, Group President and CEO. US customers wishing to withdraw funds from their NETELLER e-wallet accounts will experience ongoing delays while these discussions continue, and a further update will be provided by the Group once effective repayment mechanisms are determined.

To the Group’s knowledge, no criminal action or proceeding has been brought against the Group, its current officers or directors by the USAO. Nevertheless, there can be no assurance that the Group will not be charged in a criminal action at some subsequent time. The Group intends to work with the USAO to seek a negotiated resolution of any allegations relating to its US activities. Any resolution of this matter may lead to potential sanctions against the Group including material financial penalties, fines and forfeitures.

It is emphasized that in line with the Group’s standard business practices for all customers, funds held by the Group for US customers are held in segregated trust accounts. The Group’s own cash position remains strong and the Group currently has sufficient working capital to fund all its customers’ balances as well as ongoing requirements of the business.

NETELLER remains committed to developing its business in line with its stated strategic objectives including geographical and product diversification for all markets. The Group will focus on its continuing business and the opportunities available in the growing markets of Europe, Asia and the Americas outside of the United States. Since the Group’s withdrawal from the US market on 18 January 2007, average daily new account sign-ups of new customers from non-US markets has been around 1,400. This compares to average daily sign ups of 3,303 for the year to 31 December 2006. Daily fee revenue since 18 January 2007 has averaged over US$ 200,000 per day (excluding any revenues from Netbanx, 1-Pay and interest income). These metrics demonstrate the resilience of the Group’s ongoing business. NETELLER customers not resident in the US continue to be minimally affected by this withdrawal from the US market.

In view of the continuing uncertainty, the Group’s shares will continue to be suspended from trading on AIM for the time being. Further announcements will be made as appropriate.

About the NETELLER Group

Trusted by millions of consumers in over 160 countries to move and manage billions of dollars each year, the NETELLER Group operates the largest independent online money transfer business in the world. The Group specializes in providing innovative and instant payment services where money transfer is difficult or risky due to identity, trust, currency exchange, or distance. Being independent has allowed the Group to support thousands of retailers and merchants in many geographies and across multiple industries.

The Group is quoted on the London Stock Exchange’s AIM market, with a ticker symbol of NLR. NETELLER (UK) Limited is authorised by the Financial Services Authority (FSA) to operate as a regulated e-money issuer. For more information about the Group visit www.netellergroup.com.

I’m not going to lie or sugarcoat things. For us folks in the USA, our beloved game of poker is on a death watch hurting. OK, maybe that’s bit heavy but I’m seeing the government succeed at cutting off funding options and I doubt they are going to stop anytime soon. The fact that I have a healthy chunk of change frozen on Neteller isn’t helping my attitude.

OK, it’s actually causing massive angst. Soul crushing angst.
So ignore me. I’m bitter.
That’s why it’s been so difficult for me to get on here and uber it up.

I have a friend, who gagged at lunch after hearing how much money I am going to lose to Neteller and then helpfully offered, “You should take that frozen Neteller money and convert it to Linden dollars.”

I hate Web 2.0.
But it’s time for me to suck it up - I’ve got Workplace Productivity to Destroy, damnit.

Let’s pick some low-hanging fruit, shall we? Ramp things up as we go.

Overheard at Neteller Support –

Neteller Rep 1: Man, we are all getting laid off!
Neteller Rep 2: I know, we are all out of a job soon.
Neteller Rep 1: Look at this, another one of those “How do I get my money” emails.
Neteller Rep 2: Hey, tell him to do a peer-to-peer transfer!
Neteller Rep 1: Good one! hahahahahahaha
Neteller Rep 2: hahahahahahahahahahahaha

There’s been some excellent blogging around the blogosphere lately. I really need to dedicate an entire post to just that. It’s on my to-do list, have no fear.

But for now, you gotta go check out Haley’s superb poker journalism work. She’s on part 4 right now so make sure you go back and read it all. A must read, per the WSOP.com domain name.
Anatomy of a Cybersquatter

Yeah, Mr. Rini has been harshing my buzz in a huge way over this legislation mess and now the attack on funding. But let’s face it, Bill’s been around a long time and also works in the front lines of the industry so it’s fair to say he’s 99% more informed than the rest of us.
Top 10 Myths About the UIGEA

I’d rather be educated than blowing rainbows out my ass.

And one last pimp, even though I can’t imagine anyone missed Otis. And good God, if you did please leave this drivel immediately and read the best, instead:
The Last Poker Game

Weird little side note about Daniel Negreanu and UFC announcer/FearFactor host, Joe Rogan getting into a nice little public spat and then making all nicey nice. Fun!
Daniel went after Joe first at FCP:
Opie and Anthony… again

Well, Joe couldn’t let this stand so he blasted Daniel at his blog:
Daniel Negreanu, you whiney little bitch. Actually, Joe went fairly high-road in his post, claiming no hard feelings even though he offered to hold Daniel down and slap him in the face with his cock.

The actual audio of the interview is here.

Because I help with a little UFC blog, I found it hilarious to see this nastiness spill over into a UFC forum, after Joe posted there: Daniel Negreanu is a bitch. It’s funny to compare UFC forums with poker forums, lemme tell you.

Danny finally came to his senses and apologized: Joe Rogan Revisited

Such silliness.

I don’t know why I haven’t posted this damn link before. This guy is the degenerate of the year, hands down. Degeneracy good?

Possibly the best poker support email ever:

Hi Jonathan -

I see from your account record that in the last 6-7 months, we’ve twice, at your request, removed your access to the $200-400 limit hold’em and $75-150 Omaha-8 games. Both times you’ve asked to have us reinstate it (and we did).

As we mentioned in our previous email, the games you’re requesting are going to have enormous swings - five times what you’ve experienced in the $200-400 game.

Now, our job here is to deal a poker game, not be your nanny. But please confirm for me that you can tolerate the swings involved before I put you into those biggest games.

Thank you for your understanding.

Best regards,
Lee Jones
PokerStars Poker Room Manager

BattleStar Galactica Poll:
Why is Baltar so good at poker?

a) He’s good at calculating odds
b) Six peeks at everyone’s hands for him
c) He’s so twitchy that everything he does looks like a tell
d) God really does love him

In a nod to Dawn, here’s an interesting post and response from RGP.

–

I love the political discussions on Late Night Poker

Doyle has bet Hellmuth that if Hillary runs she wins ($10K). They all liked Obabma but then someone said he was an athiest and his name sounds too much like Osama. Harman said she really liked him, but if he was an athiest, she wouldn’t vote for him. Doyle suggested electing the senator from Tennesee, and then said he couldn’t get elected dog catcher. I love hearing this table talk between the players. Am srarting to really like this show.

=——–

I like the general tone of all this, but Obama isn’t an atheist. He’s a Christian. I would vote for an atheist pretty much for that reason alone. Anyone with the balls to stand up and say they’re an atheist while running for office has the guts necessary to do whatever needs to be done. And is, of course, completely unelectable.

There are atheists in office, but they are liars who claim to be Christians. That is the nature of our political system. It favors lying fucks over people who tell the truth, cowardly phonies over heroes, and almost bars anyone who actually deserves the office. We should have to hunt down worthy people and draft them at gunpoint to serve, given the kind of person who actually wants to be President.

However, I honestly think Americans would elect a black President, but not Obama. Partly because his name sounds too much like Osama. And then his middle name is Hussein. Just a horribly unfortunate name. But also he just lacks gravitas. Even if he didn’t though, what a horrible running for President name. It is practically Iraq Hussein Osama.

You say Osama, I say Obama, let’s call the whole thing off.

—–

Here’s a strange thread about John Juanda and Todd Brunson having some nasty chat on Full Tilt.

Todd Brunson’s last post on 2+2 (march ‘06): Todd Brunson busting on Ivey

Oh yeah, the February issue of the 2+2 Internet Magazine is out.

This is an interesting video I came across. Doyle is hosting a talk show interviewing Crandell Arrington and Jack Binion.

I love me some old-school RGP flamewars. Get out your asbestos undies here. The religious - atheists are still going at it post-holidays. Thought this shit was gonna die. I was wrong.

The first three posts here were the first three posts in the thread, of which there was tons. Imagine how good it got after reading these:

The Last Supper

I have not lost on any day since i put a tapestry of the last supper on the wall in front of me when i play.

I found this tapestry in the apartment above the man who i said would ruin our 225 unit apt building. This man lit 2 fires and virtually incinerated everything in the apt above his.

The tapestry is synthetic and should have melted but is damage free.

Amen

———————-

-

> The tapestry is synthetic and should have melted but is damage free.

It appears that you are inferring that a supernatural force saved the tapestry from the fire.

If that is the case, why didn’t this supernatural force just prevent the fire in the first place?

You might also wonder why this same force - that according to you can change the laws of nature - would miraculously save a tapestry and allow people to be tragically killed.

For instance, on Sunday 1/7/07, Senior Airman Elizabeth A. Loncki of New Castle, Delaware was murdered by a car bomb while serving in Baghdad, Iraq.

She was 23.

But I guess her life just wasn’t as important to your supernatual being as a fucking tapestry. Why don’t you send your “magic tapestry” to Iraq where a soldier could drape it over his or herself as a protection from harm?

You also seem to imply your invisible friend has been using his influence to give you favorable cards because you hung this thing. This attention to your poker game apparently distracted your invisible friend so much that he just didn’t have time to save Elizabeth’s body from being devastated by a car bomb.

River cards and tapestries though, he’s right on it.

Anyone with any sense at all is well aware that there is no supernatural force or invisible being that saved the tapestry, assisted your card game, or allowed Elizabeth to be killed.

Amen.

-

+ art_classmn wrote:
+ Anyone with any sense at all is well aware that there is no
+ supernatural force or invisible being that saved the tapestry, assisted
+ your card game, or allowed Elizabeth to be killed.

Only ubermensch whose superior brains supernaturally comprehend the bounds of the universe know that.

What has gotten into atheists? There was a time when they could be witty; now days they’ve become hackneyed prosletizers for a null religion with no philosophical
heft.

–

What has gotten into people who claim that virgins have babies that are gods in part of a “mysterious” holy trinity?

–

Whew. Let’s move the hell along, shall we?

I liked the answer to this next question because it’s pretty much exactly what I woulda said, too.

> I played at Bodog for the first time last night.
> As my experience with Bodog is limited, I was wondering what impressions
> others had of the site.

The site sucks. The software sucks, there are bugs in it that prevent you from playing at times, it’s slow, horrible, no game selection, bad customer service, and well, it sucks.

That said, please stay clear of my tables as it’s the main site I play on.

As I’ve stated many times, good poker players simply ABHOR bad software.

I only loved this thread because of the mean people answering this kid. Not really. But whenever I’m blue I’m going to read this thread.

Yikes.

Variance: My life (super tldr, cliffs notes, ask me anything, zzzbore)

It’s hard to pick just one response in that thread. Guess I have to go for the most obtuse.

‘The mass M of a caterpillar, measured in milligrams, is

- 1/6t^3 + 9/4t^2 + 5t + 10

Where t is the time since hatching, measured in days. After n days, the caterpillar reaches its maximum mass, stops eating and pupates.

Q) Find the value of n and the caterpillars maximum mass to the nearest milligram.

Q) Find the caterpillars maximum growth rate, in mg per day correct to the nearest mg, and when it occurs.

Been sitting on this 20 page thread on 2+2 from last month.

Ivey vs. Corey Pavin golf bet

Discussed on the 2nd episode of Poker After Dark by Hellmuth, Sheiky, and Huck.

The bet: $10k per hole.

The rules: Ivey plays at TPC Summerlin (Vegas course that he frequents) from the reds … forward-most tees…or ladies’ if you’re non-pc . Corey plays from the tips, or black tees. I thought I caught that Corey would play a different course, but not sure about that.

Anyhoo, Ivey scrambles with himself, meaning he gets to hit each shot 2-3 times (not sure how many) and take the best ball. Pavin plays straight up.

From the discussion, Hellmuth implied that Ivey was worse than a 15-handicap.

For what it’s worth, Sheiky and Hellmuth said they’d bet Pavin. Huck said they were out of their minds.

Who’s your $$ on assuming Ivey is a 15-handicap? How about 10 or 20 handicap?

P.S. Most of us have seen footage of Ivey playing golf. He’s improved big time from 3 years ago at the American Poker Championship, but still ain’t pretty.

P.S. Negreanu says he’s the best putter he’s ever seen (from his forum).

Saw this telling comment in PeterBirk’s fine blog by countingmyouts. Yoinkers.

Reports are that Neteller is negotiating a settlement with the U.S. DOJ and that settlement will include Neteller will turn over all records to the IRS, ostensibly so that the IRS can go after poker players.

Additionally, it appears that all current Neteller balances could be frozen for an indefinite period of time. The FBI is on record as saying that they would like them held as evidence in court.

Are you screwed? I’d speculate in the short-term you are since you have a U.S. account. Long-term, I would say you will get your money. However, with this witch hunt, I can’t say that with any confidence.

At the rate this is spiraling out of control, I believe that there are going to be a lot of U.S. online poker players getting hammered by the IRS with big fines and possibly jail time. There are those that have made hundreds of thousands of dollars and never paid a cent in taxes. If I were those folks, I would be extremely concerned given the voracity of US DOJ’s attack.

A sad end, indeed.

Good gravy, folks Ripped this show on rgp. I tried to watch it once but got bored very quickly.

Poker after Dark, Did that ever suck or what!!!

Did you ever play poker and have 10 people yap in your ear at the same time. You can’t even follow the action. The whole screen is cluttered. The premise is stupid. It ’s like somebody said let’s steal the idea of High Stakes Poker and take the worst parts and turn it into a show.

You have two faceless commentators making comments after every fold or call. Six players talking non-stop while the action is going on. They are forced to check, call, raise or fold within a matter of seconds. The money for buy-ins are probably put by NBC. Nobody cares. Unlike High Stakes Poker where when someone gets beat out of $200,000 they care. Poker Dome, six players enter and no one leaves. Thank God, for that.

Also, a follow up to the Hellmuth blowup on the show a while back.

—–

Phil Hellmuth addresses his behaviour on Poker After Dark

Phil admits to being out of line, but he does a lot to hedge…
http://philhellmuth.com/articles.html?id=122

I have to say, it reminds me of a few years ago when Sam Grizzle and Phil were at the same table at the WSOP, and it took Phil to make Sam look good. Phil made Sheiky look… well… not bad.

If you’re not sure what he’s talking about, feel free to quickly watch my prior post,
Phil Hellmuth is Batshit Crazy.

How else can I end this commentary but with the last word from Gary Carson.

It’s a reality TV show. The producers want conflict, they want people talking. The on-screen talent doesn’t have a right to anything except to follow the script and get a donut at the break.

Phil needs to quit pretending he doesn’t know the difference between a televised poker game and reality TV. This show is not a televised poker game, it’s reality TV built around poker.

Wow, I read about some rake craziness in Aussie poker (on RGP so who knows about the veracity.) Pauly? Any experiences like this?

Brisbane Poker - Incredible Rake

Hi, I’m wondering if anyone can help me with this:

I’ve just moved to Brisbane, Australia. I used to play live games a bit in the US, so I went to casino here to check out the tables. They had 5/10 “fee” games, where you have to start, and then 5/10 and 10/20 “commision” games you could put your name down for when you sat down.

They have two rake structures. One, the fee game, requires each player to pay a “participation fee” of one dollar every hand, so that’s an automatic rake of ten dollars a hand, no matter how small the pot, even if everybody folds.

You have to start there, but you can get on the waiting list for the table that has a “commission”, which is a 5% rake but, it’s up to 10 or 20 dollars per pot.

That dollar-a-hand rake just seems like it would be very difficult to beat. I looked around the table and the players seemed good enough, though it was a bit early and maybe not fired up yet. I just can’t see, with the table loosing 10 dollars each hand, how there’s much left for the players to toss around.

Anyone have any opinions on this? Would you consider this a beatable rake? Would you even bother sitting down at one of those tables unless at least half of it was staggering drunk?

Whew, I guess that’s all I’ve got tonite. Lord knows I owe ya’ll some ubers but I get to bed alot earlier these days. My how times have changed.

Hell, I don’t even know if anyone reads me anymore. If you do, thanks for stopping by and I hope I killed some time for ya. I’ve a bunch more in the pipeline, I just need to get back on the horse and ride.

Here’s to hoping Stars and Full Tilt fight the good fight.