Poker Perambulation

You know you are a nerd when…

1.You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. You search every TV commercial to see if it has a web site at the bottom of the screen.


8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly which of your mailing lists you are going to forward this to.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list.

ADDENDUM:

Speaking of the problems being a nerd…

It is bed time. You turn off the light and get ready to close your eyes. The Christmas tree isn’t up but you see the glow of red, green and yellow lights. It is the LEDs on all those little extras: the modem and router, the add-on speakers, the VCR, the CD player, ad infinitum. And those are just the obvious ones. That dark TV is still drinking from the grid. Throughout the house little things that are plugged in but nominally off are pulling down their mini-watts. Collectively, you may have up to 10% of that monthly electric bill going into that blinking clock on various devices. All those little transformers (warts) for the game machine, cordless whatchamacallit or whatever are warm from unused electron flow.

It has a name: Vampire Electronics. It is estimated that the national cost runs to several BILLION dollars each year and a needless carbon footprint. For less than $5 at the local dollar store you can pick up a power strip and put the collection of those in the kitchen or by the TV on and off with ease. If you think it smart to use the new lower power lighting, then invest in some power strips too.

While you are at it, install an old, corded telephone in or near the bedroom. Reverse 911 is available or coming. If there is a power loss during the night, it will be the only phone left in the house that can get your attention.

“Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.” ”” Homer Simpson

“If Dracula can’t see his reflection in the mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?”

”” Steven Wright

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 3rd, 2007 at 9:55 am and is filed under Humor?, Journal. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.