Joe Speaker

I survived. Three days of hot, sweaty rock. Three days of getting drunk in the pool before going to see hot, sweaty rock. Three days of navigating polo fields littered with sprawled humans.

I’m exhausted, burnt to medium well and happy to be home. But I wish it was Friday morning again.

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When I was learning how to drive, my parent were absolute basketcases. As a parent now, I understand their pain, though I have many years to obsess over it before actually having to go through that torment.

The first time my Mom went driving with me, I nearly got a ticket…for going too slowly. The speed was mandated by my panicked mother, but it was also she who talked us out of the citation and I was let off with a winking admonishment to “not drive on busy streets.”

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If my poker bankroll was one of Tony Soprano’s lieutenants, it would have been whacked for insufficient revenue a long time ago. Part of that was due to UIGEA skimming, but even since then, Tony’s percentage would be miniscule even in the best of times.

Thankfully, my illegal activities extend only to online poker and I managed to dodge the feds long enough to make some profit this weekend, the start of what I hope is a return to better play and better returns.

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Now that the fury has mostly passed, I feel some reimagining of my previous post must take place. Some language in there was unnecessarily harsh and I must offer amends.

I bet you think I’m talking about “dickhead.” I’m not.

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Before I write this, I want everyone to understand the point. Yes, I’m furious to have been sucked out by the same player for my entire 10K stack, one that stamped me as a contender in the MATH. I sat well above par with just more than two tables remaining. I had a solid M and, perhaps most importantly, I was in the zone. I’d been playing my ass off all night. So I admit to feeling as if something has been stolen from my house.

But that’s not the point.

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I had an up, then down weekend at the fictional poker tables. After a substantial cash–and by “substantial,” I mean relative to my meager bankroll–in the Stars Crazy Re-Buy on Friday night, I kept running into monsters–and by “monsters,” I mean 4-outer river suckouts–on Saturday.

It was a case of what goes around comes around, as my Re-Buy cash was fueled by three come-from-WAY-behind pots that would have made CJ envious. Those came back at me in spades the next night, as I never got my money in behind, but was bounced from 4 cheap tourneys nonetheless.

However, I have found something that can tame even the most savage of tilt beasts: A big pewter pot of hot cheese.

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The title refers to how AJ pronounces “headache” and I’m sporting a substantial one right now. Because my return from work on Wednesdays roughly coincides with the kickoff of The Mookie (graciously hosted by Full Tilt), I have to be creative as far as the evening meal is concerned.

Last night, I went straight for Liquid Dinner.

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It is with pleasure that I publicly congratulate Blogging Juggernaut Dr. Pauly on his joining Cultural Juggernaut ESPN.com to provide WSOP coverage this summer.

What an awesome, unbelievable, deserved gig. Way to go, man.

It has been rightfully said that I am frustratingly single-minded. I latch onto an idea or adventure and tend to go full steam ahead with nary a sideways glance. Furthermore, I tend to map the Road Taken, planning for contingencies, maximizing the time available and completely cock-blocking the chance for spontanaity.

It’s something I’ve been working on and something I’ve been meaning to write about. I got the requisite kick in the pants to do so thanks to a link sent to by my good buddy Jorjinho. You’ll have to wade through my drivel before I give you the link, but it will be worth it. The link, not the drivel.

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I am winding down after a five-day orgy of candy, poker and baseball. In fact, I currently have a mouthful of Big League Chew, honoring two of those pursuits. If only I could mack it into the shape of a poker chip.

I’m pleased to report it went mostly well.

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