Joe Speaker

California Governor Arnie S. has proposed privatizing the California Lottery because, well, we’re not gambling enough and the state is stuck a few billion dollars.

The proposal will “lease” the lottery to a private company for 40 years in exchange for a kickback payment of as much as $37 billion, which will be used to pay down the state’s massive debt, debt incurred by legislators who suck at math, which is at trait coincidentally shared by lottery ticket buyers.

Say what you will about the Golden State (”It’s on fire”), but we here in God’s Country spend an average of $81 a year on lottery tickets. Compare that with New York and Gerogia, where the figure is more than $300 per capita. And they say our public school system is failing. Which is why we had a lottery in the first place since the proceeds are allegedly going to fund schools. Either that was the reason or the electronic gaming lobby bankrolled a ballot initiative and out-spent opponents by bazillion-to-one to get it passed.

So, privatizing the lottery will put it in the hands of a far more effective marketing vehicle than the government, which pretty much sucks at everything, and theoretically will boost sales. As for selling future profits for immediate payment, this sounds a little like cashing in your 401k because the interest payments on your penile enrichment surgery have become cumbersome, not that I’d know anything about that.

So, to sum up today’s civics lesson: The government thinks it’s okay to mortgage their future for short-term gain as long as everyone does their duty and gambles some more, or at least tries to be more susceptible to the kick-ass advertising the new private lottery operator will provide. On the other hand, playing a $5 SnG in you underwear is still bad. Bad like clubbing harp seals.

What a country.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 11th, 2007 at 2:33 pm and is filed under Uncategorized.