Joe Speaker

Well…what do we have here. Could that be…is it?…I think it is.

A bankroll. 

Here are the vital tips I learned during last night’s stirring run:

1) If you have an M of less than 3, are at a table of lunatics and card dead, the best time to push is when you’re going to flop the nuts.

I’m afraid that’s a skill I can’t teach you.

2) If you have a token, it’s best to use it in a tournament in which you will finish third.

This is the type of advice you’re not gonna get anywhere else in the world, my friends. This stuff is higher than Level 12. In fact, it’s  downright mystical and you really have to be at one with your chi–or somebody’s chi–to breathe this rarified air.

Alright, enough silliness. I did have an M of less than 3 at Level 10 where I was sitting with less than the starting 1500 chips. And I open-pushed with J8o. One big stack called me with 66, which I was thinking wasn’t a bad matchup until the flop came T97 and it became one. For him. That got me off life support. The next hand I played I made quad 8s and got paid off. A short while later, holding aces, I re-raised a guy who couldn’t help but call with his 99 and kaboom! my stack was well into the teens.

But our path was less than rosy. Determined NOT to bubble and surrounded by the loosest bunch of tourney maniacs I’ve seen in some time, I spent the first three levels of the third hour folding into the cash. I’d folded off nearly 10K chips when I pushed over a limper with 87s (and, stop me if you’ve heard this before, and M of 3). Another Big Stack called, as did the limper and the former bet on a flop of 866, to which I say thank you very much Mr. AQ. Triple up and I was off. I finally started catching cards.

One funny hand occured when I squared off with tthe chip leader, who limped along with another. I had QQ in the BB and pumped it up 4x. The CL called (as he always did pre-flop) and the flop came AdKd9d. Is there a worse flop for QQ, no diamond? I think not. I fired anyway (how I roll) and he called, at which point I typed to my railbirds in X-chat “I guess I’ll abandon my QQ now.” But as the non-diamond Jack came on the turn, the Big Stack typed into the Full Tilt chat, “I’m going to call you down.” I replied, “No shit.” I checked AND SO DID HE! And when the Td came on the river, we both checked it again and my runner-runner broadway bested his A6o.

The rest of the late burst is a blur. I never got it in behind until the Final Table, where I caught one of my 11 river outs to knock a guy out in 9th. Then the Big Stack (from the previous paragraph) just started calling everything and knocking people out left and right. I folded while watching my account go from 8th-place money to 4th-place money. Down to three, I was the shortest stack, but not uncomfortable. After some parrying, a couple realizations hit me. One, I suck short-handed. Two, it’s almost three in the morning. So when I flopped an OESD and two overs to the Big Stack’ second pair (which was another laser read by me on the night when I’d had several), I laid it all on the line. To no avail.

Must thank April, easycure and Gnome for their kind and generous railbirding. Must thank whatever poker gods finally decided I shouldn’t get raped by suckouts in one of these tournies. Must thank God, without whom none of this is possible. But mostly, I must thank that mystical force I acquired to only shove when nizzuts are in the offing.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 24th, 2007 at 10:30 am and is filed under Uncategorized.