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Poker News | PokerWorks Op-Ed

Poker Plus – A Rose is a Rose…

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Everyone knows what A Rose is a Rose means. It doesn’t matter if you choose call a rose an Aardvark, it is still a rose. The same can be said for poker hands.

Many hands have names assigned to them. Some are named after famous poker players, usually because they won a major tournament - like the WSOP - with them. Other hands are named for word association to objects, cars, companies or people besides poker players. If you have played in a B&M poker room, you will hear hands named after local players. Where I used to work and play, a Q-2 was named after me. No, this is far from my favorite hand; it happened when I was in a pot-limit game and had a Q-2 in the big blind. Five players limped in, with no one raising I saw the flop for free. The AA had flat called UTG hoping to trap a raiser. The other three players who also had a pocket pairs flat called for the same reason. The flop was 2-2-2 and the action was on, bringing with it a new moniker for the Q-2.

Other hands are named for locals who boldly proclaim that hand to be their favorite. In the club I played in we had; the Zarvell special K-5, The Debbie K-2, the Henry 8-6, Ricki’s Rockets 2-3 and the Sandy 7-4 just to name a few.  Every once in awhile in low limit games I would play my Q-2, just to keep the myth alive and surprisingly won quite a bit with it. Unlike the other players though, 99% of the time I mucked it, even suited, because I know what a dog it is. The rest of them happily chucked in their chips on their favorite hands, no matter how much it cost them -much to the delight of the rest of us.

Many poker hands of course are related to just two cards, the pocket cards in Hold’em.  Others relate to Stud and Omaha games. Here are a few you have probably heard and some maybe you haven’t. Some of the correlations are easy to figure out, others – well I have no clue!
Here you can find out if your Tucson Monster was drawn out on by a Kournikova:

•    AKQJ10 suited – Quint Major and Royal Palace
•    AA- American Airlines, Pocket Rockets, Amos & Andy and Bullets
•    AK – Big Slick, Walking Back to Houston, Big Slick in a Suit (for a suited AK), Special K, Anna Kornakovia (looks good but never wins) and Santa Barbara
•    AK of Diamonds- Mike Haven
•    AK47- Machine Gun (AK-47) and Assault Rifle
•    King of Clubs – Alexander (for Alexander the Great)
•    King of Spades – Shaka Zulu and Edi Amin
•    King of Hearts – Cassanova and Suicide King
•    Queen of Clubs - Argine
•    AQ – Little Slick, Big Chick, Doyle Brunson (because he hates the hand supposedly).
•    AJ- Ajax, Rockette (Ace with a winning kicker)
•    A-10 – Johnny Moss and Athos
•    A2345 - Bike, Wheel and if suited a Steel Wheel.
•    AA88Q - The most famous hand in history, the Dead Man’s Hand.
•    A2 – Hunting Season (Bullet & a duck?)
•    A3 – Ashtray
•    KKKK- The Four Horseman
•    KKK- Ku Klux Klan, The Alabama Night Riders and The Three Wise Men
•    KK - Cowboy Wolford, Cowboys, Big Boys, King Kong, Kangaroos
•    KQ Suited – Royal couple or a marriage
•    KJ – Kojak, King John, Harry Potter, People who need people and the Tucson Monster
•    K9 - Saw Mill, Canine, A Pair of dogs, Unit, Fido Canine Unit, What a Dog
•    K3 - Commander Crab, King Crab
•    QQQQ – Village People, 4 Whores
•    QQ – Ladies, Jailhouse Rock, Sigfried and Roy, 4 Tits, Flower Girls, Dolly Parton (Big Pair), Hilton Sisters and Mop Squeezers.
•    QJ - OJ (It's a killer), Mother & Son,  Oedipus and Maverick
•    Q-10 - Robert Varkonyi, Kournikova, Quint
•    Q7 – Computer hand.
•    Q3 -  San Francisco Busboy, Gay Waiter (Queen with a Tray/trey)
•    AJ – Jackass and Jake
•    JJ - Jay Birds, Johns, Knaves, Hooks, Fish hooks, Disabled Veterans (One-Eyed Jacks), J-Boys, Mommas Boys and Valets
•    J6 - Jeff Talley
•    J5 and JJ55 – Motown, Jackson 5, Rock n Roll and Soul Brothers
•    J4 – Flat tire
•    10-10-10 – Thirty Miles of Railroad, Thirty Miles of Bad Road or just 30 Miles
•    10-4 - Broderick Crawford, Over and Out, Roger That, The Good Buddy and Convoy
•    10-2 – Texas Dolly, Doyle , The Brunson (because he won back to back WSOP titles with it)
•    98 – Oldsmobile
•    99 - Popeye's and Phil Hellmuth
•    95 - Dolly Parton and Hard Working Man
•    94 - Joe Montana Banana
•    92 – The Montana Banana
•    88 - Pocket Snowmen, Two Fat Ladies, Dawg Balls, Delta, Eightballs, Turkish Pocket Aces and Racetracks
•    83 – Sven
•    77 – Saturn, Mullets, 7-ups, Sunset Strip and Walking Sticks
•    78 – RPM
•    76 – Union Oil
•    72 – Beer Hand (because you have to be drunk to play it?)
•    666 – The Beast, Devil’s Area Code, Satan, Lucifer and The Devil
•    66 – Route 66 and Kicks
•    64 – The Rabbit
•    69 - Joe Bernstein, Big Lick, Dinner For Two, The Good Lover and Good Position
•    63 – Blocky
•    62 - Ainsworth
•    55 – Presto and The Speed Limit
•    5-10 – Woolworth, Five & Dime and Nickel & Dime
•    57 – Heinz
•    44 – Diana Dors, Magnum Colts, Colt 44 and Sail Boats
•    45 – Jesse James, Colt 45 and Jane Russell
•    3333 – A Forest, Trees and A Pot of Crabs
•    33 – Crabs and City park (two trees)
•    3A – Baskin Robbins (31 flavors)
•    39 – Jack Benny (he was always 39 yrs old when asked)
•    38 – Raquel Welch
•    32 – Hooter Hand
•    222 – Gaggle of Geese, Huey Duey & Louie and Ducklets
•    22 - Ducks, Quackers, Swans and Huey & Duey
•    29 – Twiggy
•    222AA – Marksman (3 ducks and two bullets)
•    2233 – Nits & Lice, Nits & Fleas or Mice & Lice
•    23456 – Rabbit

As you can see, some are funny, others very un-politically correct and a few make no sense at all, like the 6-3 being a blocky. I find many references to this combination being called a blocky, but no explanation. I would guess it means you have to be a blockhead to play it, but it seems to have been around before Charlie Brown was born.

Nicknames are part of our culture and as you can see, poker is no exception.  The next time you get Mullets, watch out for those Mop Squeezers or they may give you Crabs.

Grab a Chair…see ya there!

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