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Poker News | PokerWorks Op-Ed

The Back Room – Seamless In the Park

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The only mouse you’ll find in the back room of the Farm Barn is one that scurries away from the light and the sound of a poker game that runs late night once a week – no computers, no internet poker, no electronic gadgets allowed.

“The Gods play poker!” declared Seamless. “They play with a regular deck just like you and I. The difference is, they play Three Dimensional Poker with four decks on Lucite boards one above the other. The layers are called Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water.”

He pauses for breath.

A casual player winks at DD and says: “Uh-huh. And how do they play that?”

Seamless looks over the park lake and matter-of-factly says, “Well, they play each level from separate decks, two down and one up for each player on each level. Then they bet. Sometimes it’s worlds, other’s galaxies. I’m never sure about the betting.  But each level card dealt can be played on the level one above the next higher level the cards are displayed on. You cannot play down, only up. They are Gods, after all. When the betting is finished, another up card is dealt on each level, so and so forth until each player in the last round has seven cards. That last one is dealt face down.”

By the time Seamless had finished speaking even DD was smiling. The rest of us, except Seamless, were laughing. Seamless never cracked a smile.

I’d brought Mary to the Park to pay off a bet debt. I lost it and had to furnish her with a home cooked meal. I provided Chinese Noodles and Beef and the rest of it, and then, because the day was so good, I’d suggested we have the meal in the park.  That’s when we’d run into the BS session on poker.

Of course we’d chosen to sit next to them, not close, but within earshot for certain.

DD asked Seamless: “What do the Gods call this game, Seamless?”

“Well,” Seamless said, “I’m thinking they call it Twenty-Eight Card Stud. But, I could be wrong. I do know that the big loser after one Earth year has to take the Devils role for the following year and wreck havoc continually. That loser is forbidden, I think, from doing the same thing the previous God did in the role the year before.”

“Ah, Seamless,” a casual player suggested, “aren’t you overlooking the fact that game is awfully close to Seven Card Stud?”

“Where,” demanded Seamless, “do you think Seven Card Stud came from? It was a gift from the Gods, man.”

“But,” another of the casuals piped up, “I understood Seven Stud was invented during the Civil War by the soldiers.”

“Hadn’t you heard?” asked Seamless “There are no atheists in the trenches Of course, the game started then.”

By this time everyone was laughing and Seamless put on his serious face as if the rabble didn’t exist.

One of the casuals, I couldn’t place his face, tried a funny and in an overly loud way said: “If I’d been there, I’d taught the Gods how to play that game. You bet ‘cha.”

One of his buddies popped wise and told the mouth: “Man, you don’t even know what dead cards are in that game.”

Which allowed Seamless an out and he and DD joined me and Mary. They nibbled on the fresh veggies in the Tupperware and had some beer while Mary and I finished the meal.

“You think,” I asked, “we should have a Seven Stud night and invite those guys?”

DD just shook his head and uttered a single word, “No.”

The three of them helped me put the dishes back in the basket, bidding Mary good day, the two guys wandered off. I took Mary home.

I like split seats in a vehicle, but my old truck has a bench style, and it’s a joy when Mary rides hip to hip like she does. When I pulled into her drive, she tucked her arm under mine, nuzzling my ear. Then she bites down on the lobe gently.

While she’s doing that she fumbles around on my thigh and finds my hand and slips something into my fist. She makes sure my hand closes around that sticky piece of paper, pats my hand, and gets out of the truck.

She grins at me from the outside and says: “Read it.”

So I do. It’s a receipt from the Chinese Take Out. “So what’s this?” I asked.

“You owe me, Lum. A home cooked meal.”

Damn, that woman has an evil laugh.

*Find the ongoing Back Room Tales in our Poker Wall Section - or type The Back Room in 'search.'  And for the sake of discussion, you'll find The Back Room tales in this thread in the forum.

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