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Poker News | PokerWorks Op-Ed

The Back Room – Tournament Talk

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The only mouse you’ll find in the back room of the Farm Barn is one that scurries away from the light and the sound of a poker game that runs late night once a week – no computers, no internet poker, no electronic gadgets allowed.

“When you going to have a tournament, Lum?” a casual asked as he escorted his wife to a seat.

“We have the quarterly scheduled next week, Steve. Are you planning to attend?” I answered while pushing my plate away and grabbing the check.

“I didn’t know that,” Steve said, “I’ve been out of touch lately.”

“We’ve tried to start one a month but have too few consistent players,” I explained, “that makes it difficult to keep one going. So come on down and join the group.”

Steve grunted, nodded in the direction of his wife, whom he was seating. I bid him good-bye, paid up and left the Café. Clovis and DD were outside chatting on the sidewalk, talking poker. Those two are good for anything poker.

“Sup, Lum” came from both of them. “Tournaments,” I said. “How do I get a good one going?”

“Ah!” came from DD.

 “Satellites!” came from Clovis.

“Hum…” came from me.

“I think, Lum, you’re going to have to decide what you want the game to be,” Clovis added, “given the economic times. Do you want just the home game, tournament games or what?”

“Well,” I said, “I’d like to see a few more players come around, instead of the same old faces. Hell, I know what you guys are going to do before the cards are dealt.”

“Mr. Excitement, are you?” DD nudges.

“No. Not really,” I explain, “but some new blood in the game isn’t a bad thing. Who knows, maybe one or two will become regulars and keep the game alive.”

“Numbers, Lum, numbers,” Clovis suggests. “It’s all a function of numbers. You need a base spread of people because only a certain number will have the inclination to play – for whatever reason.”

“Fine!” I say. “You two are a lot of help.”

“Try,” DD is thinking aloud, “satellites, with the big game Challenge against (and here he added the name of another county).”

“That might work.” I say, thinking. “We could have four small buy-in tournaments; one every two weeks. Say just after payday, or close, that should gen up enough to pay one or two entries in the bigger game over there.”

“Eight games,” Came from Mary, who’d just walked up in company with Seamless.

“And 10 weeks before the Big Game.” Added Seamless. “You need a dollar pool to draw prize money from, and funded bodies to send. And time for the word to spread.”

“Doesn’t Rinshot live over in that county?” DD asks. “Thinking about it, he has a pretty big barn over at his place that could be used for the finale.”

“You clods are ever so much help.” I say in exasperation. “I’ve got a business to run and work to do.”

“Suppose,” Seamless hints, looking slightly embarrassed, “you appoint a Tournament Director to take care of all this?”
That question brought me to a complete stop. Seamless? Suggesting, and from the look on his face, asking, he be given work? Com’on, now!

I look at Mary, raise an eyebrow, and she shakes her head. So, I turn back to Seamless and asked him: “You going to be around for that amount of time?”

“I believe I will,” he says, “I’ve pretty well finished the other job and before you ask: Yes, I’m settling here.”

“Good, then,” I declared, “You have a job as an unpaid TD. Get busy.”

“Cards?” he asks. “Timing programs, chips, tables, chairs? Room enough for players? How many can you handle? Does the space have restrooms enough for both sexes? How about munchies for the players and railers?

By now Clovis and DD are hiding laughter and Mary is being impolite enough to giggle openly.

Clovis places a hand on my arm: “You see,” he says, “this is a no legal poker play area, and most of us like to talk business at the table. The game’s social for us. We see the trap this could lead to and understand the desires. But, maybe, no tournament? Hum?”

It’s hell to be reminded how stupid a fellow can be. It really is.

Find the ongoing Back Room Tales in our Poker Wall Section - or type The Back Room in 'search.'  And for the sake of discussion, you'll find The Back Room tales in this thread in the forum.

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